I am playing answering this question!

But is it enough? 

What might "enough" play be?

"Enough" must be when you feel the edges of play and silliness and fun in your lives many days.  When you let go of expectation and just goof around.

I play Scrabble with my son on Facebook most days.  Cribbage with my daughter when we're together.  And sometimes computer games like Mahjong Solitaire, Suduko, Spider Solitaire, Freecell and Hearts.  Sometimes it's fun and sometimes it just feels addictive and sometimes it's miserable and sometimes glorious.

Like everything else, play encompasses so many possibilities. What we call "play" can be drudgery.  Or it can be lighter than a feather and so much fun!

Play can be married in whatever activity we're doing:  balancing budgets (oh that's one of my favorite kinds of play, believe it or not!  It's like putting together a giant jigsaw puzzle), sizzling up some stir-fry for dinner, writing blogs (oh that's the best kind of play!) , splitting and piling firewood.  OK, OK, I kinda played with that last sentence.  I have had a bad attitude about our wood pile the last couple of days.

Today's assignment:  Play with the wood pile!  Watch it be funner than fun.  I'll let you know if it works.  Whether it does or not, I think it's "enough".   :)

This may sound really corny.  Or too airy-fairy-pie-in-the-sky.  Or too "of course". 

But I want to commit myself to love.

To remembering that I am love, we are love and Gaia (in all of her many guises from this community to a shining gleaming Universe) is love.

It's so simple.

We make it way too complicated sometimes.

In the past five days my meditations have been simply Being in that space of love before the first thought, before the emotion from that first thought, before anything else.  Returning to love like a Disciple of Love.  Bathing in that light which shines through all of us without effort.

Over the years I have come to this space from many different angles.   From dreaming.  From thoughts.  From physical actions.  From love.  From awareness.  From presence.  From the moment.  The pendulum will probably swing back to another doorway. 

But all the doorways dissolve in this feeling which presents itself in every green leaf, in every wildflower, in every face, in every song. 

I love you all.  Thank you for being.  That's all.

It's been a year and a half since we've seen Christopher in three-dimensional physical reality.  And I can't wait until this weekend when he arrives.

He'll be bringing with him his girlfriend of nine months, a young woman from South Korea.  It will be so interesting to see them both together, to learn more about her, and to just re-connect again.

He's twenty seven now, the oldest of our two kids.  He's in a PhD program in San Diego and has been really working hard for the last two years.  He wasn't expecting to get a master's degree (the actual diploma) but the department head called and asked what name to put on it.  So he'll have his master's degree by the time he gets home!  (I think...maybe the following week.)

When the kids were growing up, I sometimes compared them by saying that one was my heart; the other was my spirit.  But as they've grown into young adults (Kiah is now twenty three and living in NYC since January) it keeps getting mixed-up.  The one who was the spirit, becomes the heart, and then visa versa.  But mostly they just keep becoming their own unique individuals.  Separate from us...but then again what really is ever separate from us in the larger picture of love?

They both make us very proud.  And, since they live on opposite coasts, provide more opportunities for travel!  (sayeth the gypsy.)  I am starting to plan a possible trip out to San Diego for next Thanksgiving. 

The airplane should land before 9 p.m. on Saturday night.  A very happy mom and dad will await the arrivals out of the gate.  So happy for the next week together.

It's time to unplug for awhile.

Move away from the computer screen.

Re-center.

Perhaps sit in some extended silent meditation.  Perhaps reflect.  Perhaps sit with the depths, dream to the moon, watch the ripples of the lake spiral out and out and out.  Or would that be in and in and in?

Before I settled into this Gaia world in Winter, 2008, there was a glorious month of retreat.  By the end of that cold January month, there was no inside, no outside.  The lifelong core fear of emptiness had abated and it felt like a peace had plumbed down to the center of soul. 

I seem to have lost that center lately, although that's perhaps an illusion as what is there to really lose?  Yet, my soul seems to be longing for some extended time away...or time near...who knows?  I just need to listen deeper and reconnect with that beloved awareness.

So the leaves and the green trees and the lake and the moon and the wildflowers murmur,  "come, come, come..." and I have resisted their haunting melody for far too long and now it's time to turn off the computer, except for the daily posting of the outdoor blog and perhaps a daily checking of email.

I hope to see you all again after several weeks of retreat.  But who knows where the wind shall blow us?  Feeling much love and gratitude and appreciation for Gaia and all you beautiful folks.  Love to all...