When It wakes up and goes to sleep again and wakes up...

Thank you guys so much, Gael, Bob, Star and Mascha.  Just suddenly felt the need to update this and share it with you.  The dance of the human and the divine, eh?  Bob, crazy synchronicity, we've got to love it!  Mascha,  it's lovely that It chooses to express itself through whoever, isn't it?  Whoever and whatever it wants?


Gael,  that listening internally seems to be so key.  Although external is maybe helpful sometimes, too.  And Star,  thank you!  Big smile…

Star, that is an astute observation about being drawn back into the chaos.  There is still something that needs to be looked at.  And, thinking a bit deeper on this, yes, there were things that I did learn in these times of going to “sleep”.  Part of what I learned was more about surrendering to the “what is” in certain ways where I was still resisting.  Love how you put the rewards…being able to dance again in your own joy of beating.  A beautiful gift.  Thank you, Starlight Starbright first Star I see tonight.

Joy of beating, ha ha!  And that too…  You know, Star, that stopping fighting and just looking at it and being able to let it go…I think you just described EXACTLY what happens in these moments of awareness.  And yes, such joy it brings.

You just made me think, do I believe in enlightenment?  Hmmm… part of me does and part of me doesn't.  There are room for both parts.  Until the experience on my birthday, I would say I didn't care two hoots about enlightenment.  Had simply stopped searching, stopped thinking about it, stopped caring for several years. Oh, I might talk about it, but I truly didn't care.  TRULY didn't care at all.  And then after my birthday when Awareness woke up, and it felt so different than Kathy, something in me started to believe again.  (The other part just rolls its eyes and says “whatever!”) 

What I'm feeling now is perhaps similar to what you're feeling.  Being free in the moment to experience Whatever.  And it's so very close, so accessible.  And, for me, the joy comes mostly in being aware of what awareness is aware of.  Probably a long convoluted way of expressing it that may come back to simply the next moment.

It seems when people try to describe the process of getting to peace, acceptance, love or whatever we so often stumble because our processes are so different.  The place we're talking about is IT. But the processes are different.  And everyone has to follow his or her inner guidance to that place of love or compassion or enlightenment or freedom.  We can't say to another person, “This is the path” because everyone has a unique path that the deepest knowing shares. 

Does this make sense?

Kickin' up de heels in joy, Nicole!  :)

Mazy, yep, impermanence.  You nailed it.  Hey you really did nail it.  And aren't the slow dances just wonderful after all those fast ones?  You REALLY get to melt then. 

Oh, you two.  I would NEVER ever bar you from my blogs (hmmm, but would AWARENESS?  No, it would probably be too compassionate…but heaven knows what form that compassion might take…so you never know.)  I personally like god, goddess, hey you, spirit, awareness, It, me, you and us. 

 As for being Bi….ha ha…that is great!  But if it's even more than two then maybe we're Omni.   Oh this is way too early in the morning to allow any wit to come through.  I keep censoring it too much.

Love to both you gods/goddesses today!

It's a lie, Star.  I am not always so good natured and accepting of all things.  (But usually they are inner things I am still waging war against…so you're probably not seeing it externally a lot.)  My friend Melinda is a bit like you–no, that's not true, she's like herself–and she gets pissed off cuz she thinks I'm way too sweet sometime.  She says it's just your nature. 

I love that we're all different.  Bitches, sweet, refined, stupid, wonderful, terrible and YOU ARE RIGHT, awareness can wake up in ALL of us and it will be totally different.  YES!  No two drops exactly the same (and yet, and yet, I also believe that those oh-so-different drops are within us and that we're all the bitch, the sweet, the refined, the stupid….you know.)

Is that too accepting of all things?   ha ha ha, well you're stuck with me.

Dear Elisa,  I think those sweet moments that require rapt attention as the blackberry goodness, the flakey spelt crust melting across your tongue is IT!!  There it is.  At that moment you are awake.  (Oh this is only my opinion, toss it away if I'm being a goober, ha ha…)

The amazing things of learning and moving and breathing:  'tis it!  You are there, always there.  This awakeness is not other than that. 

The choosing…do we really have to choose?  Isn't this awakeness that mean seem so “other” just because it has a lot of garbedly-words attached to it, isn't it just these sacred and special and ordinary moments? 

For me, I don't know about for other people, I just sometimes skip or pass by these flaky crust moments because I'm in my head or a story or a poem.  Off in some make-believe land (which really is just as “OK” as the flaky crust land except it's almost impossible to recognize that we're intimate with the moment when we're in another dream far-far away.) 

So here, in this piece of cake, that's where awareness is in my opinion.  We can't be apart from it.  Yet our minds convince us we are.  There is nothing to lose, in my limited experience.  Nothing is lost!  No preciousness, no sacredness, no everydayness.  It's just that the everydayness gets more intimate.  I start to wear the everydayness like skin.  Or there's no skin between me and the pie crust. 

so what this rambling answer to your question or not-question might be saying is that, Elisa, that if we're missing anything it's the knowing that we're not missing anything.  What you are saying is not childish.  You are stating a huge truth, a huge knowing.  Perhaps you are completely awake already!  Perhaps I am!  And everyone else here.

The realization of knowing I am awareness, really, really, really knowing it (and probably it's a fleeting knowing the way things move so quickly in this mind) just keeps sinking in.  We can't ever look at another person and see how deeply they know it, perhaps. 

OK,  the words are running off into the field right now so should stop babbling.  Hugs to you, dear Elisa.  Did this even begin to answer your question?  If not, try again from a different angle.  Love!  Kathy

No advice, no insight, just the witness:  you are quintessential enlightenment, right now!  Oh, divine play…playing with our words that are never true, but yet touch on fleeting energies…    Have been listening to some of Adyashanti's CD's for a couple weeks now.  (After feeling averse to them for a couple years!)  Truly grokking how everything is waking us up to being with our flaky pie crust, the walk in the woods, the crows calling overhead.  Everything!  Every challenge, every emotion, every thought…  Thank you, Deb, for your presence & peace & blessings.