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awareness
November 2009 
Not meditating
Posted on Oct 17th, 2009
by 
Centria
Centria
Meditation.
You close your blue or brown or hazel or night-black eyes and do a lot of nothing. Or a bit of something. You can ohhhhhhhhhmmmmmm...... You can groove with the silence. (wow! what a bundle of silence, man!)
You can spend hours observing your kundalini zingin' near the base of your spine or maybe up to your eyelids.
You can think. You can try to stop thinking. You can think some more. You can think and come back to the silence. You can look up at the clock. "How many more minutes?"
You can beg "who am i, am i, am i, am i, am i?" and listen to the answers "not that, not that, no, silly, not that!" until you're dead in the grave of yourself, clumps of dirt covering the coffin of your endless seeking.
You bliss out. Or you fight and cuss and feel agony. Next time: who knows?
Meditation is all brand new.
What is meditation anyway? And why even do it?
You might not need to sit still in the silence. You might be able to simply be alive, aware, moving through life!
Sometimes when you meditate you get off the couch, shake yourself like a dog, and go about your daily life. But meditation keeps "doing" you. The dishes meditate you. The meal meditates you. The laundry meditates you. Writing on the computer meditates you. Thoughts come, thoughts go, but there's no difference between sitting on the couch in your eternal ohhhmmmmm and the next step right or left.
Meditate or not? Who cares if you sit down? Sometimes we need that couch to kind of calm things down, stabilize the world a bit in reality, and then...we get up and start meditating without doing anything. Simply being aware. Being.
Such a silly word: meditation. What is meditation? Being-in-life. Aware.
The clock ticking. Bird wings. Keyboard clicking. Heart swelling up, tides swelling down. Sun cresting the horizon. Not meditating.
You close your blue or brown or hazel or night-black eyes and do a lot of nothing. Or a bit of something. You can ohhhhhhhhhmmmmmm...... You can groove with the silence. (wow! what a bundle of silence, man!)
You can spend hours observing your kundalini zingin' near the base of your spine or maybe up to your eyelids.
You can think. You can try to stop thinking. You can think some more. You can think and come back to the silence. You can look up at the clock. "How many more minutes?"
You can beg "who am i, am i, am i, am i, am i?" and listen to the answers "not that, not that, no, silly, not that!" until you're dead in the grave of yourself, clumps of dirt covering the coffin of your endless seeking.
You bliss out. Or you fight and cuss and feel agony. Next time: who knows?
Meditation is all brand new.
What is meditation anyway? And why even do it?
You might not need to sit still in the silence. You might be able to simply be alive, aware, moving through life!
Sometimes when you meditate you get off the couch, shake yourself like a dog, and go about your daily life. But meditation keeps "doing" you. The dishes meditate you. The meal meditates you. The laundry meditates you. Writing on the computer meditates you. Thoughts come, thoughts go, but there's no difference between sitting on the couch in your eternal ohhhmmmmm and the next step right or left.
Meditate or not? Who cares if you sit down? Sometimes we need that couch to kind of calm things down, stabilize the world a bit in reality, and then...we get up and start meditating without doing anything. Simply being aware. Being.
Such a silly word: meditation. What is meditation? Being-in-life. Aware.
The clock ticking. Bird wings. Keyboard clicking. Heart swelling up, tides swelling down. Sun cresting the horizon. Not meditating.
Access: Public
In meditation there is no object at all, only pure subjectivity. You are aware, but not aware of something. There is nothing to be aware of. Everything as disappeared. You are not even aware of nothingness, because then nothingness becomes your object. You are not aware of emptiness either.
You are simply aware, there is no object to your awareness. The mirror is empty.
Often people think of meditation as being aware OF something…that is concentration, not meditation.
I feel the truth is we are afraid to become aware..afraid we may not be able to manage. Afraid if go in we will not be able to come back out! What we are avoiding being aware of is ourselves! The whole life is managed in such a way that you never come across yourself (smile!)…
Meditation is to become aware of the chaos inside and just sit with it…do nothing. With awareness, meditation, your insanity and madness can be transformed into Buddhahood, enlightenment! The same energy that is chaos becomes enlightenment! And you need do nothing but become conscious..that is enough!
Meditation is not be aware of something….just be aware.
I feel it is not being aware of the clock ticking..but of the one hearing the clock tick, until the one hearing disappears and only the clock ticking!
When the one hearing disappears…then…(smile!). Then!
Always loving YOU, Kathy! Thank you for beautiful blogs!
sincerely…
Cheyenne
Cheyenne, for some reason I can't stop laughing…you know why? Because (and I don't mean this to sound like it's negating anything you've said because it's all so valuable and true and I love and respect you SO much) it's just that I suddenly simply don't care! (oops, did she SAY that?) Don't care how to meditate, don't care how not to meditate, don't care about anything. It can all just be what it is. Don't care about thinkin' or figuring anything out. Just gonna kept sitting and then keep getting up. Meditating and not meditating. Doing it wrong and doing it right. Do nothing, do something. Not being aware of the clock ticking, being aware of the clock ticking, who's aware, who's not aware? On that note…um….on that note….nothing more to say in this instance! Love & babbles, K
(smiles!!!!)…I can understand! Being care-less!
Care simply means you are not trusting existence. You are trying to be careful on your own. You are afraid. You are not yet aware that existence cares for you, mothers you, fathers you. Once you start feeling that mothering and fathering, you drop caring for yourself…you drop caring. There is no need to be worried. You flow with existence…without a care.
I applaud your careless state!
Lovingly,
Cheyenne
Oh we know that feeling of being afraid! And this care-less state feels like a flow, a breath, the curl of a flower, the curve of the moon. Totally trusting existence to be whatever it is, the dearest mother-father embracing us in its embraceless embrace. So glad you understand about care-less-ness. Have a great weekend wherever and however you find yourself, Che.
I found out when my beloved arrived that he has grey changeable eyes that sometimes look blue or green or hazel… sorry, everything makes me think of him, so that is what i thought reading the beginning… :)
Kathy, when you tap into your own joy of being or your own true nature or whatever you wish to call it…your right…whether you are sitting, dancing…washing dishes…what-the-f***-ever…whether thoughts are coming or going…you are dancing in the joy of your own being living life to it's fullest…enjoying everything…even if pain is zinging through…you smile…and you know that this opening is infinite…and the bliss and everything else is inside and out and down and through and up…to you…
love and joy*
Nicole, obviously that comment about changeable eyes was directed DIRECTLY to you!
Oh Starlight…aren't you so right? You are dancing in the joy of your own being to the fullest!! Even pain. Can you imagine? Pain. I love that you understand, girlfriend. Thank you. With heart-tugs. Feel it?
Honest. Beautiful.
In love,
z
Ohhhhhhh, YESSSSSS!!!!
Thank you for the delightful trip through all that was evoked by your words, Kathy. My my my my.
Yep.
:))
OM
zennie-ben, glad you liked it! Wanted to be absolutely honest about the many many different ways that meditation “happened” over the years.
OM, you know this trip, too? Big smiles & hugs to both of you this morning with just the lightest streak of dawn in the sky.
Love, kathy