Why I am not a Light Worker

Yes!

I have not yet encountered a self proclaimed Lightworker that operated as you first described to be doing anything than grasping for inner meaning for themselves.  Using some words given to them to create a house of glass.  The work that seems to do more persons good is walking hand in hand with another right into the middle of their hell and shining that light so they can SEE it and what created it and all of the options that may be more or less healthy in dealing with life as life comes.  If one sees or hears a lightworker shouting love love love….stop in your tracks.  Ask them to define it.  Ask them where the words came from, what they mean to them in daily use.  And then maybe RUUUUUUUUUUN!!!  A lot like someone that claims to be enlightened that can enlighten you(and maybe charge you $19.95)
Is the point to be a healthy happy satisfied and grounded person? or just to feeeeeeeeel goooooood?  I know a lot of addicts that chase eternally that feel good…

Wonderful blog piece, wonderful comments.  I have acquaintances that call themselves Lightworkers.  A few years ago, one even gave me a T-shirt that said “Lightworker” and I thought “what  is this?”I

Some have told me they “don't like” reality, and they keep making new realities for themselves.  They think they can will stuff.  Some of them have been chasing Light around the world and with every new guru that comes to town.  

You are absolutely right, we have to embrace the light and dark.  It is all one and the whole thing.  I used to hate it when my Buddhist friend would say there was no good or bad, and i got all fired up about Hitler, Jeffrey Dahmer.  Clinging to emotions, ideas and opinions was a hard thing to rid myself of.  My teacher taught me to let go of things, not torture myself about how I thought things Should Be.   I learned to not fight the negative stuff, to ask myself why I was reacting in a negative way to anything, to sit with it, and let is pass through me.

We have and are the Light and  just have to be it.  Lightworkers exist, named or unnamed. 

I have considered myself a lightplerker for awhile, but mostly since living in Lynn, MA and working at a dangerous place of employ. I saw the place transform its energy and the people change their whole demeanor when coming into the place after about 6 months. The density was gone and through using smudge and incense, there was a cleaner atmosphere. I had to think form the perspective of beig placed there to hold the light, or I would have perished. I was immensely grateful to be given the task of holding up the lantern for others to find their way…
sound egotistical? Not intended…I had to change my perspective, it was my lesson. And in my lesson came some positive signs it was affecting others. That is why I shine my light and deem myself to be that. People ask what I “do” in the psychic world. I shine light…it is all I know how to do…but it works for me…

I love this and it shows how people perceived things differently…and that is really ok, no judgement!

Big love and hugs,
Aley

And look what was posted on another great blog today.

i rarely share on these my personal stuff
i share my experiences with others
when i came back and read centria's comment earlier
i felt chided in a way
this was because my opinion and exerience with this wording is very strong
i spent way too long on it today
i got annoyed that first i was liked and now felt shut up
instead of asking i assummed
then i got to talking to someone outside of here about it
i said i dont' share personal views because i wish no disprespect of others views but that today i did and felt unaccepted for it
he said…it is disrespectful of others to only take parts of you at a time
and then we got to talking about intolerance and how i dislike it
and that in a way i became intolerant to centrias manner of response or how i took it the first time i read it.

i came to make amends.  My opinon here is my own.  Though it is strong, I love hearing and seeing others.  No matter my personal feelings.  My intent has yet to be to stop others from being themselves.  If anyone feels I did that, well I cannot undo it but perhaps my words will help.

at this time there are other comments and i think i realize that my initial interpretation was skewed…yay i'm still human
perceptions, mirrors and levels of understanding weeeeeeeee

No worries, I did not feel judged dear one…just wanted to express my experience…and yes…there is grand beauty in opposing opinions and the ability to chat about them without anger, or fear etc…

So HAPPY you posted this blog! And Elisa…speak your truth always…! There is no fear! We need to say what we feel without worrying over it all…it is part of growing! All is well, all is love.

Big love!
Aley

I’m with you here, girl. You HAVE to know what works very well for you naturally. There’s space for all kinds of workers in this world; for sure there’s very much to do at all ends.

Everyone isn’t built for Light Work, and it should not be made to seem like some holified place to aspire to. If I work in the dark I get what you got, except on the physical, I mean violently ill. My system responds to such energy at the other end, well. I finally accepted this and concluded I better keep my butt out of this dark end phenomenon. I truly was a failure. I have literally no success to speak of. [I blogged on that whole thing…]

There’s also the possibility, or likelihood, that some people are not supposed to work at all with people!

That’s a whole other thought to process…

There should be wellness attached with whatever you do.

Sherri

Kathy~ I appreciate this post. For me there seems to be value in not putting moral judgements on light and dark.  Dark is just as necessary as light. The planet only works because half the time we experience darkness. I get bothered by the notion that everythinng negative must be transformed into positive; that all dark must be conquered by light. If by dark we mean ignorance, let's say ignorance. If by light we mean awareness, let's say awareness. And so on.

The definition of enlightenment that resonates for me comes from Father Anthony diMello, who says: “Enlightenment is absolute cooperation with the inevitable. ”   
Which implies the “good” and the “bad”, or the “light ” and the “dark”.  How much energy I've wasted arguing with the inevitable (which of course, isn't some pre-destined future, but rather this very moment).

Thanks for posting and making the space for discussion.

I always think of one of the Four Agreements - “don't take anything personally.” What someone says is about them, never about You.   I think Centria expressed her feeling well and lovingly. And I appreciated what she had to say, probably because I have had the same feelings or thoughts. 
 
Like Centria, I have friends who say they are Lightworkers, and hell, they even gave me the Lightworker T-shirt.  I let them think I am a Lightworker too.  There is no harm, just love.

They are working their thing and naming it.  I working my thing, I call it Buddhist path.   It doesn't matter what you call yourself.  You are what you do, not what you say you are.
I am not in a position to judge and say out loud who is or isn't a Lightworker.  I know Lightworkers exist and are among us.  If you want to stand up now, wave, and say “Hey, Over here, I am a Lightworker.” I will believe you.
  
lots of love to all _^_

Ty for sharing all of the private messages back and forth with me Centria!!

Just because I say I 'feeeel', it's my own feeling, it's not a KNOWING.  I can feeeel my sky is yellow.  It is nice for me to be able to share intimate things and get a feeling intimate response…not just some patterned words.  I am very grateful and appreciate it all very much.

This makes me smile as it reminds me of a conversation betwen my husband and myself just yesterday.  We were talking about conspiracy theory and of course that will go off on many tangents.  One of the tangents was lightworkers.  Brian equates lightworkers to airy fairy bliss ninnies, and yes he means that in a not so positive way…LOL. 

He summed up bliss ninnies in three points: 1. They call themselves lightworkers 2. They wear long flowy clothing 3. They speak in sweet breathy voices.  I laughed and advised that he LOOK OUT! I reminded him that at times I identify with the term lightworker and that I LOVE flowy clothing.  His response was that when I start speaking in a breathy manner that we would all be in trouble.  I told him that if I ever start speaking in whispers that it was a sign that my throat chakra was out of whack and that I would need to balance my chakras.  We had good laughter over this little humorous tangent.  Hopefully people are laughing as they read this!

I say that I SOMETIMES identify with the term lightworker.  WHat does that mean? Am I wishy washy? No, not at all.  Personally I do not like labels and I do my best not to take too many on.  Being a lightworker means to me that I stand in the light.  I acknowledge that there is both light and dark.  I have taken a side.  Is my life filled with ONLY positive thinking? Am I attempting to wish away all the bad stuff? No. Good and bad is a judgement and sometimes the stuff that looks bad to the human eye is a tremendous lesson that catapults us further into our growth. 

On the one hand I think the term lightworker is misunderstood and a lot of stuff gets projected onto it.  THen perhaps, there is no right or wrong definition and it is up to everyone to determine what it means to them.  Can one be a lightworker and follow paths such as Buddhism, Christianity, Paganism, etc? Of course.  As I siad, for me being a lightworker is more about taking stand and choosing to work/play on the side of light as opposed to the side of dark.  All paths that lead to this are beautiful in my humble opinion.

Namaste!

I noticed the new “wise and insightful comments” text bit  today, too. For me, I don't know about wise…still growing into that!

I read a lot over at the Power of Light pod. I never really  considered myself a Light Worker because the term is too vague. What the heck does that mean? But I also didn't connect the image of the lady with the lilting soft voice in a flowing dress and saying you've got to think positive- with the image of a light worker. I hadn't connected those two stereotypes yet.

We live in a dualistic world, and there's no denying the darkness, aka negativity. We have to take both light and dark, and those who deny all negative thoughts are also denying the world we live in. We're walking on the razor's edge (occam's razor), trying not to fall to the one side and deny all negativity -where everything is sunshine and lollipops, yet also to not fall to the other side and be consumed by our negativity. It scares us! What do we do then? We develop coping mechanisms to sidestep the fear.

Well, add a winking smiley face here ;) In Love and Light!

As I read this blog, what came to my mind was a section of the Zen sutra, “Identity of Relative and Absolute”:

Within light there is darkness,
But do not try to understand that darkness.
Within darkness there is light,
But do not look for that light.
Light and darkness are a pair,
Like the foot before and toe foot behind in walking.
Each thing has its own intrinsic value
And is related to everything else in function and position.

I don't know if I have anything to say that hasn't already been said (and eloquently, might I add!), but count me as another who respects and embraces the valleys as well as the mountains, the melancholy as well as the “chipper.”

Those of us who have broken through that barrier of “contant light expectation” tend to be rather protective of our newfound wisdom, lest we slip back into the realm of the “bliss ninnie” (OMG, AlcheMystic, that is such GENIUS.)  And once you've tasted the glorious, sweet relief involved in not judging yourself for being normal and well-rounded, you just really never want to go back to self-defeating ignorance.  As a result, the human-watcher in me has noticed that newly-dark-side-embracing people can be a bit defensive toward anyone whom they perceive might be trying to push them back into that little saccharine light box.  I've noticed that right here on Gaia… hell, I've noticed some of it in myself.

My definition of “Light Worker” isn't one who is inhumanly positive, like some Ward/June Cleaver Stepford Wife; on the contrary I think that any powerful person of any kind would be comfortable with the dark, and not afraid of or threatened by it. 

I think of “Light Workers” very simply as people who are aware of the powers of directed energy, and who direct that energy consciously for someone/something's benefit.  That's me, and I do it all the time.  When I AM feeling bitchy or morose or otherwise “dark,” I may meditate and cleanse alone, talk or vent about it with a trusted friend, or I may even let anything from a passive aggressive comment to a tightly worded scolding come out.  The latter doesn't feel good afterward, though, and so regulates itself through divine discontent and repeated opportunities to practice.

One of my current challenges now (and I'm making some great progress, I think!  Go, me!) is to be comfortable enough with darkness when I notice it inside of me to NOT OVERREACT out of fear.  To state my truth directly, kindly, honestly, unflinchingly.  I love it when I succeed at that!

Love, love, love….

Sue

Beautifully expressed Kathy…
Meet everything directly..
I live in a town full of light workers and new agers.
I once wore that hat as well..spiritual ego 24/7
It took a very dark night of the soul experience for me to learn to embrace life on its own terms.
Thank you for bringing this into awareness.

This is such a beautiful entry.  Beautiful because it is full of truth and deep peace.  How well you write with Clear Light, my friend… 

Your words are a meditation.  Simple, beautiful, Truth :)

Erin

Being in the middle of the darkness I know that mourning, gnashing of teeth, tearing off clothing and putting on sack cloth and ashes, is a very powerful place to be. It hurts every muscle in your body as you cry with your head thrown back and howl in the agony of loss.

Then comes a calm… the heart is bruised and the ache is still there but now I am numb and clear headed. A sort of 'out of body' experience comes over me and the small things come floating into my vision… a picture in the mind's eye of the perfect fish pond/art room I will soon create… the bed in the room with my iguana allowing her to come down from her bamboo palace and stretch out with me on the bed… sharing a glass of ice water and a bowl of cool fruit sitting on the front porch with my best friend…

I do not want to push away the heartache, the panic, the stress of this time in my life. I want to grieve for the beautiful life I created before and honor the man who took care of me so tenderly. To deny what was, what is now, and try to simply get to a more positive time would be more tragic then the love that was lost…

And I would note that I have a Master's Degree in Bliss Ninnie… and Positive Thinking is my middle name… staying in bliss is not denial until something that requires our grief, our anger, our frustration gets pushed away like an unwanted child… vent all we want and then make our way back into Love and Bliss…

Amber Smilemaker

MamaSue, everything you said.

I know I am not unrealistic, I just really enjoy growth. It just goes with [my] nature. So, what grows in the dark… nothing too much I am interested in. So I like to bring the light, see possibilities, see beauty, see opportunity.

Staying in the dark, to me, keeps you [me] out of sight of some pretty darn beautiful stuff which exists outside of our dark spaces… The only dark I can’t get a grip on is the ones like GW, Putin, Chavez - these political leaders that are living the same fear as all of us, except that it’s multiplied 800 million times and projected outwards to people who simply don’t have a clue - the ignorant, and yes, this includes so many Americans. To tell you the truth, it’s those people which concern me more, and it’s the reason why I wouldn’t spend much more time ‘working’ in the dark with individuals who I know, with awareness of their choices, can and will pull themselves out, if they want to.

I lived in the dark for different periods in my personal development, and frankly I lost myself. The words ‘You’ve lost your light’ were said to me three times in two days at one point… and this was the prelude to me quitting my job and liberating myself from the system. On another more recent occasion I lived in absolute poverty, let all my accumulated possessions deteriorate because I didn’t want the guy I was with to feel I was elitist etc. He didn’t give a shit. He was ‘happy’ because I was bending myself for his ego. If not for a dog [yeh a dog!] that came to the home and showed me love and lots of UNCONDITIONAL love] I probably wouldn’t have seen even a spark of value in myself. I moved on [with muccchhh] resistance in myself who didn’t believe yet that I could do better or have better, as soon as the next opportunity came up. That was 2 year + into this ‘relationship’.

No, I don’t ever want to live in the dark again. I am aware of my choices and yes, I’m gonna do my best to exercise them. Too many good things out there to experience.

Blessings to you. Sherri

this was a long fun read this morning. nice gathering.

yup, this wise and insightful comment thing will take some getting used to… good old Gaia Team! Gotta love 'em, they mean well but come up with the darnedest things sometimes! LOL. I will wander over to theThink Tank    later and share my opinion on that… we don't all feel like being wise and insightful and why should we? anyway…

it's so difficult to communicate in writing without hurting each other at times, isn't it? we try to express ourselves so clearly and lovingly yet even with the best of intentions we can easily be misunderstood, especially if we have never met.

One of the things I am learning over and over as I travel around the world meeting Gaians, and also IM, phone and web chat with a number of you all, is that the more connected we are in various ways, the more we understand each other and the easier it becomes to communicate clearly with each other. But conversely the less connections we have the harder. I try to remember that whenever I am involved in a miscommunication or observe one.

So great the way you all have worked things through. I have very little to add to the substance of the discussion. Many call me a Lightworker, and many consider me to be overly positive, always shedding love, light and peace everywhere :) a dyed in the wool care bear of the first order.

But as you get to know me, you come to understand that I don't share love and light and peace as a means of escaping harsh realities, only that it is part of the way I understand my life and live it with intent. I cry often, and complain and get angry and everything like anyone else. I accept others' pain and suffering without trying to fix or bandaid it. Yet by listening compassionately, I seek to be an instrument of Light and Love, though I myself am not light and love but only human.

I had the pleasure of discussing this at my London meetup on Saturday with a healer, Zannie. We laughed about how well the “divine civil service” arranges things so that they often work out in unexpectedly neat and helpful ways.

I read all the new comments this morning and started thinking to myself:
Where did the term “Lightworker” originate?
Why does one decide to publicly call themself a Lightworker?
Why don't I want my Lightworker friends to call me a Lightworker?
Why are they pushing Lightworker and why am I resisting Lightworker?
Does it really matter what anyone calls themself?
Does it really matter what anyone calls us?

There is Dark and there is Light.  We learn most from our Darkest Moments and must dig really deep inside.  When my dark moments come, I know there is a lesson to be learned and I am now smart enough to Take the Lesson Early.  I must learn it, it cannot be taught by another

Sometimes we don't learn much in the Light, because things are going so great, and we think we've figured out stuff, and we deserve or have earned all this good stuff going on in our lives.  And then the piano falls on our head…. I embrace the Dark because it is part of the Light - there is no separation.  It is all part of Life in all its Reality.  Maybe it's Learn in the Dark, Teach in the Light?  I am just thinking with my fingers, nothing more.
peace and love to all.

Reading this thread was really timely for me. Just a couple nights ago I was talking with a friend wondering if my extreme positivity needs to be balanced out. if i'm not considering the bad or the alternate perspective enough. These thought derived from some reading on Zen I had done earlier last week. The idea of the light worker resonates with me geratly because it allows for me to see that the balance doesn't need to be within me but can be shared by the variety of people in the world. This provides me the freedom to be extremely positive without concern. thank you thank you thank you

peace

I like your thoughts, svahi! More energy to you! Sherri

I'm so glad I came back here to read more. 

Mimi, what  you said about “learn in the dark, teach in the light ” resonates with me. Also think of the seed whose birth is in the darkness,  the womb within which a seed sparked the egg that eventually became me after 9 months of being nourished in a dark place. My greatest leaps of growth have come during the darkest times in my life. They have propelled me into greater light. 

Do I want to languish in darkenss? Not at all, but I've come to recognize that running away from it immediately can mean missing out on an opportunity to gestate something new and wonderful.

Now THAT'S a come and get me title for a blog!

I loved what you wrote, Kathy. It rang totally true for me. I do have a cringe factor regarding the word Lightworker, but at the same time I try not to get involved with my reaction and just take it on face value, trusting that people are doing the best they can on whatever path they are on, and if it works to call themselves that, that's great.

As for the darkness and suffering:

May I suggest to stay there and actually allow it to increase slightly?  Experience it with full awareness.

Big yes to this. It is certainly my experience with both physical suffering and emotional suffering that if I bring my full awareness to it, things seem to soften, and yes, lighten. And if not, somehow there is a connection to a place where everything is absolutely perfect, always, no matter how much pain I'm in, particularly physical discomfort. Emotional pain can be harder to bring full awareness to as it tends to engage the mind so fully. Byron Katie's The Work tends to be my approach to this one, and the end effect is the same, more awareness, a kind of detached compassion, with, but not involved.

As for this wise and insightful comment thing. Well, cringe factor there too… sigh….

You've added light to my life and I don't care if you got the t-shirt or not. 

t-shirt? I didn't know there was a t-shirt involved…

Centria, you opened a beautiful can of light worms with this blog. Your original post really speaks to the deep dive that any spiritual path will take us onto, and through. You also offer me a new metaphor for the sweat lodge. My teachers say that in the blackness there is infinite light, ALL colors of light.  Now I can also relate that to spiritual, psychological, emotional pain and fear, which often come up in a lodge. It's a good place to walk with those shadows, in a space of all light.

Random thoughts not making much sense, arising as I read through the ripe garden here.

I am going to get all the commenters blurred together, my apologies, but I think you are onto something with the origin of the word “Light Worker”. Light BODY Worker is how I first heard it. I live in an area that  is a station on the Light Worker mainline too, so every 2nd person I meet is a light worker.

Turning negative into positive sounds like a lot of work, it would take a really big crank, don't ya think?  In working with energy, personal or planetary, within oneself or as a healer/helper for others, there are levels of mastery.  If something feels shallow or a little too sweet,  chances are you've encountered someone who is not yet expressing mastery. The same really if the encounter is a focus on the negative, the shadow, anger, however righteous it might be.

Nothing pisses me off more than someone telling me to cheer up or look a the positive when I am feeling crappy and letting everybody around me know it. Any body else been there? Crappy feelings are sacred too. Later, after I vent, I get to choose a thought that feels better, when I am ready goddam it.!

I think I have been guilty of that. I try to catch myself now before shining the Light in someone's eyes.

Has anyone else here noticed this phenomenon? That after a powerful experience with LIGHT, a healing, a ceremony, time with a teacher for example,  a whole lot of dark stuff gets stirred up. Going deep into the waters does churn up the silt on the bottom. That's happening now for me after a big ceremony. I am not talking about it much, and other than the occasional blog comment, I am not up for too much talk of any kind. Had a healing session yesterday that threw me a rope though, a LIGHT rope, literally, so I can see in the dark.                                     

Centria-Kathy! you may not call yourself a Light Worker, but when I look at you I have to wear Shades! Thanks for a beautiful topic, and to all who contributes. Good writers here!

I don't have much to add.  When I noticed this blog, I immediately knew there would be a long discussion in the comments.  :)  I'm a fan of looking for the third way in any situation.  I've at times tried to be a lightseeker, but it doesn't seem to be my nature.

I'm reminded of a quote by the humorist Barbara Johnson who said something like, 'It's down in the valleys where all the manure is that we do most of our growing.'  Dark is just what it is without assigning our favorite terms of “good” and “bad”.  I've noticed that many people go around talking about stormy weather and saying it is “bad” weather.  How is it bad?  It is just weather.  It might be inconvenient and even kill folk, but it is neither “good” nor “bad.”  Is the point to be so “good” or so “light” that all the darkness disappears?  It is a part of creation and is in our experience, so why not let it be and be with it?

I like having the freedom to move within the light and the dark.  Freedom for me is not just in the light.  That is another illusion for me, staying within the lines or the definition of “light.”  In the Hindu teachings I have learned that all parts must be played and are equally valuable.  If everything were one way then it would seem that there would be no movement, that the movement is guided by duality, moving between the two polarities.

And on another note, what appears to be “light” often seems very dark to me, contracted, with no movement.  Who can separate the darkness from the light?  I can't.  And can it be done scientifically or even spiritually?  Just asking cause I don't know.

I'm frankly tired of pushing aside anything, but would rather deal directly with what is.  It all passes anyway.  Is there any freedom in clinging to one single point?

What a really interesting and fascinating blog Kathy.  Now, turn of the lights someone, I'm getting sleepy and need to rest.  Oh, look - there's another good use for the darkness.  It is for our balance and physical rest.  Hummmmm.

I have to say Centria that Im definately not a lightworker either…at least not in the sense that I stay in that place.  I do try to have some sort of balance between my diving into the darkness/shadow and coming back up into the positive things I see in myself and the world.  Somewhere in between is where Im trying to land now days…and know that it will be a constant back and forth…although I have to admit the periods of real deep diving and painful realizations about myself are a lot shorter in duration….which I have to admit Im thankful for.  I very much honor and embrace the shadow and darkness…I have found so much gold there and creative energy.  But of course I love being happy and finding the good in myself as well….so its just a real balancing act for me.  Love these types of blogs where good discussions ensue…TY to all who participated here…no wonder I just love this place.  Hugs to all
PS AlcheMystic I love flowing clothing too!  :-)

In terms of duality, there can be on light without darkness. Thanks for your insightful and thought-provoking post…remember it only takes a candle to displace the lack of light…and therefore, anything or anyone who shines…even a little…offers a way out of darkness! Namaste, Debi

May I add my two cents?  Or rather, Yoga Journal's two cents?  I thought this little newsletter was timely:  Integrating Your Shadow

I loved yr post Centria…..and totally agree….shadow-denying Stepford  New Ageism is not for me……and, as you infer, the two key Clear Light paths…Dzogchen and Mahamudra (I follow the latter)….do not involve that behavioural positive-affirmation-conditionning thang……shadow-acceptance (which does not mean acting the shadow elements out) is a key foundation for  lasting personal change….Coomaraswami; “If you fall down in the mud, you have to put your hands in the mud to lift yourself out”

Thanx again for this

Jon x

I enjoyed both Erin's and Jon's contribs actually… especially acknowledging that you're taking some effort to act in your space to get to a different and desirable space.

Sherri

“It is always darkest before the dawn”

Where would we be without the contrast…

And I so love the stars in the night…the sunrise and sunsets…such balance in nature.

Beautifully written blog, Kathy. Your light shines in your writing.

I am usually on the light side for some reason…I guess I am just still 6 yrs. old at heart most of the time. But God knows I can be in touch with, and have seen the dark side. Any woman has. But why not enjoy the inner child. My friend David reminded me of this today in one of his blogs.

I would like to plerk a bit (if I may steal one of my favorite words from Aley “plerk” (work mixed with play) and lead you to this fun spot…enjoy the “light” in the video… :)

To me it is anyway. I like to feel that positive!

http://consciousfilmmaker.gaia.com/blog/2008/2/elmo_consciousness

Peace On Earth,

J

Labels, to me, are ways to describe something.
We get there somehow.
For me, Heart wide open, feeling, allowing, accepting, shining, seeing the stars and the sun, playing, discipline, integrity, understanding, empathy, respect, kindness, giving and of course taking care of the children and those who are not able to care for  themselves.
Shining the light, handing the light, playing in the sandbox, helping someone out of prison, lending a hand to help someone out of their self imposed box and entering into the illusions created so masterfully to share when it is cultivating for me and others. 
LeAnn

This is a great blog which demonstrates the kind of unity I enjoy.
Thanks

Agree LeAnn…Kathy, you are in the flow!

I want to preface this by saying, I support anyone who emanates Love and Light.  I am not saying this to appease anyone or to avoid hurting anyone's feelings.  I just Know that Love is It. 

Centria, I have experienced something similar.  I have had a hard time relating to or identifying with “positive-positive-positive” people; although this is less so now than it used to be; but I have also expanded my capacity to relate to everyone.  In the past, I've really envied such people, kind of wondering why I have had to struggle; although this no longer.  I believe people like us just have a greater penchant for the darkness, and there is a certain power there, that can be positive or negative.  Through this comes a capacity to hold in awareness other's darkness, which is necessary for some types of healing.  You know the saying “misery loves company,” well it turns out that isn't quite accurate, but rather, psychological research shows, “misery loves miserable company;” not that you have to be miserable, but to be able to hold someones misery in awareness, itself is healing, and this comes in large part from darkness. 

Now, I know that this is a superficial image of what a lightworker is, but some are like this, and many are not: Imagine a person who is really depressed or grieving or otherwise miserable, and an overly positive person attempts to force them to be positive.  It may actually cause the person to feel worse, because it polarizes their suffering. 

Regardless, on many levels, other than those closest to the Ultimate, “positive is better then negative,” and this may be most true for people who tend to be negative - it could similarly be argued that, for “overly positive people” to grow, they have to deal with some negativity, but I'm not sure this is always the case. 

From a Jungian perspective, what you described is a Shadow reaction, i.e., you were denying your negativity, which went underground/unconscious and manifested in your dreams/nightmares.  Shadow will do that, ya know.  You were out of balance. 

Centria, I found these two thoughts interesting: So there we are, feeling the pain, suffering, experiencing directly that negativity and darkness without turning away.  From this vantage point, begin to expand awareness. AND When we penetrate deeply enough, there is nothing but Light….but it is not the light of negative/positive and not the light of light/dark…..it is the Light of Shining Awareness.  Some Buddhist texts call it “Clear Light”.  It is the Light of Awareness that infuses and precedes and exists at the base and essence of everything.
In the first idea, by accepting the darkness, awareness is expanded; and in the second, by maintaining awareness, as it deepens and expands, we come to a greater awareness beyond light and dark. 

All in One,

Doug

Kathy, et al,
 

I'm not arrogant enough to believe I am adding anything to the discussion, just commenting fully because this is so lush and juicy and full of life and the living of it and what we think of ourselves and others and what we believe we do or do not do and how we grow - how can I resist?  Many of my most treasured friends, the deepest thinkers I know on Gaia, are freely sharing their wisdom with one another thanks to Centria/Kathy opening the door.  Please know this comment is really too long and it is presumptive of me to expect you to spend so much time.  Perhaps, I just should have written my own blog but again, there is nothing new or unique in what I have to say really and it is more a response to so many of you and those not directly addressed, please know I still gained so much from what you each wrote.  It's just that even without reading this blog, Centria's mention of it to me privately on Sunday night, sent such waves through me that I felt punched deeply into my soul.

Elisa points out a danger of shallowness in her first response to this blog.  In truth, every person acts from the center of their own self interest (no matter what they try to make of that).  She is absolutely correct that by standing “with” someone in their hell, we may be (but not always) helpful to them, we may help them to perceive it differently and thereby climb out.  But as I become more mature in my own spirituality, I understand that I am not intended to judge another person's path nor indeed change it (as if I could).  The most difficult periods of my own life, sometimes horrendous, have offered the greatest growth.

I have found that if someone wants to be a force for good in the world, if that is a genuine desire of their own heart and not an idea foisted upon them by another, then the place to do that is within our own self.  Do you think there is something wrong about any other person?  Then, change that idea within yourself.  The best advice I ever heard regarding this is to attempt to give it the “best, most benign” explanation you can possibly think of.  In this way, you do indeed shift the energy for that other person, may be even as much as from hell back into heaven.  Conversely, your darkest thoughts about them do cause harm - not only are they an obstacle in the other person's way but they will affect your own life as well.  As Centria wisely points out, perceiving one self as a Light Worker may be an attempt by the person to turn disagreeable aspects of their own life around by aligning their vibration with a more positive concept.  This works, there is no doubt about it, and I would never, ever personally dissuade or condemn someone using such a tool.

Like Centria, more and more, every day I move beyond duality as much as I am able.  I recognize that I can not know ALL and therefore should not judge what role, even something that appears bad, evil or unfortunate to my eyes and mind, it may play in bringing about some real transformation to a better world.  Even that is a trap because it suggests that this world isn't perfect and as it should be and my belief is that it is - perfect and as it should be.  Now, don't ask me to define what perfection is - I can not.

I do disagree with Mimi a tiny bit as I think we do create our reality and that if we don't like what is at this moment, we can steer it in a different direction.  I believe entirely Aley's personal experience of changing the energy in the place where she was working.  She saw an opportunity to make a difference and if I understand her technique properly, it was subtle, silent and non-coercive.  It was just Aley being herself as we each should be.

Thank you, Emma, for the link to that blog.  I liked what she had to say -“I love these two poems so much.  They don't deny the dark, without dark there can be no light.  But neither of them spend any real time there - except in relation to making something of it.  One of the poems was by Rumi “Don't turn away.  Keep your gaze on the bandaged place.  That's where the light enters you.”  And a translation of a poem by Antonio Machado “… golden bees were making sweet honey from my old failures.”

Oh, Elisa, I read your 2nd comment and I didn't feel Centria chiding your at all and I am so glad you realized that was not the case.  I certainly felt that she was acknowledging your position.  So, often it is what we each perceive from our own experience and viewpoint, rather than what the other intended or even how they themselves perceived it.  We must know and understand where our own opinions come from and be clear that they are as accurate and as understandable to the most possible number of people (realizing that we can never communicate 100% with 100% of the people who will read what we wrote).  There is only one place true acceptance can ever come from and it is from our own inner self.  More than that we can never hope to achieve.  There is no way any of us can ever share ALL of who we are or why we believe or say the things that we do in a finite and limited form that a blog comment can only be.

It is such a shining example that you give, that although you felt disrespect or misunderstanding, you attempted yet to see it in a different light and to return in order to seek that consensus that such understanding can yield.  The ending of that comment is full of such light-hearted joy that I smiled and felt the “weeeeeeee” of it.

Mimi - I just really got so much out of that book, The Four Agreements, but then I resonate easily with a Hispanic world view, imagining that I have some of the blood (my parents both orphaned and adopted with no information regarding their backgrounds) or at least the desert in my veins.  Especially that advice “don't take anything personally”.  It has helped me so much since I first read it in the book and heard it on audio as well.  Thanks for the reminder.

Thank you Peace Seeker for that Zen sutra.  I love that.  I need to copy that somewhere to save close to my heart and perception of this moment.  And MamaSue you state eloquently the protective reaction to paradox and the acceptance of that.  Would you like a spoonful of darkness or saccharine with that belief?  Very good descriptions you have shared of how this state feels.  Is it the end of the journey?  I doubt it.  Nothing in my life has given me such an expectation of arriving anywhere.  I do “help” to the degree that seems proper to me (and that can be nothing less than subjective) and I've been known to send not so good vibes in a few directions as well (oops but truth be told, yes, it happens).  At one time, I thought of myself as a Red Witch - neither white nor black - but have moved even beyond such a limiting (at least for me, no offense intended but have moved through that to something else which I can not even define for myself, let alone anyone else).

Yes to Carla - we are cut from the same cloth on this one - “Nothing pisses me off more than someone telling me to cheer up or look at the positive when I am feeling crappy and letting everybody around me know it. Any body else been there?”  I also agree with your comments about mastery.  Yes, I think that's the difference between shallowness (I'm the new buzz word) and depth (I've been at this a long time and seen it from so many perspectives I've lost track).  Doug, you are so wise about what it feels like to suffer “Imagine a person who is really depressed or grieving or otherwise miserable, and an overly positive person attempts to force them to be positive.  It may actually cause the person to feel worse, because it polarizes their suffering.”

I realize this is long but Centria and I communicated privately about the impact of this blog on her and its comments, though I had not read it and she didn't elaborate beyond her own feelings.  An impact so intense that she needed a few days away to re-organize her mind and re-center her heart in what she knows is the truth of her honest vulnerability in these authentic expressions she shares of her own soul and processes.  I have been out of town and away from the computer for the most part.  Only today have I had time to do the whole thing justice.  I was so happy to read Elisa's 3rd comment - that Kathy was communicating with her privately.  That is the Kathy I've come to know - gut honest and unflinching but totally concerned, if misunderstood that her feelings (and allowing the other's feelings too) be expressed honestly.

I must admit in replying to Centria without reading her blog, I used the word “darkness”, as I was tired, had very little on-line time to devote and did not really “know” what I was responding regarding.  I had time to read only the briefest of snippets.  I immediately regretted my choice of words.  I leaned towards “shadow”, though I am not entirely comfortable with the many permutations that brings up, just like the work “darkness”.  Oh, the limitations of language but I liked the acknowledgement of wholeness that word shadow expresses better - what is wrong about shadows and light? - together they make whole.  Even from a distance, even without full knowledge of what was said here - I tell you this, I felt the impact.  I was thrown against the wall of the shower and huddled protective of my own self as water pounded down on me and I tried to make sense of what I was personally feeling.  A deep and worthy discussion it has been.  From it came a small bit of (previously unknown to me) information privately from Centria about the Heyoka (so many like that here at Gaia and in my personal life); which, I already realize, will be invaluable to me for expanding upon my own acceptance of others for many years to come.

Oh, Kathy/Centria - by the time I got through all this (working on it whenever I could all day), I happily see you back, after a brief rest and rejuvenation/contemplation period.  We need your authentic honesty and vulnerability to face our own.  And oh, please forgive me for monopolizing so much space on your blog.  Having waded through so much good content just sets my mind to saying yes, yes, yes and the not-so-funny-thing is that I see with total acceptance all of the sides presented here.  This is a classic that deserves to be in OMs library.  Ah, I should alert her ! ! !

Deborah

Deborah did alert me, and at 10:45 PM I cannot wade through 51 comments, but I want to add my own comment, Centria, and then check out from whom and how we can donate this to the Collective Wisdom Group. And then revel in all the comments !!!!!

Remember in Gaia Netowrking Group we talked about (Maybe I'll look up the exact thread later) how it's kinda hard to tell plagiarism sometimes, as we are sometimes given the same thoughts as others have? Well, I could have written your blog. Just about every word. And it is a distinction and subject I am passionate about.

Here in fact is a mini-version which just yesterday I posted in Starseed Sanctuary:

But I'd also like to say I don't buy this “You can't have the light without the dark.” To me that represents a real misunderstanding. There is a kind of light which is the opposite of dark, or good the opposite of evil, and these are judgments, the fruit of the tree of the illusion of “knowing” that some things are good and some are evil. It's one or the other, light or dark. This is all within the duality or separation-consciousness illusion.

The Light which is the true Light is beyond good and evil, beyond any opposites. It is underneath them both, behind them, within them, they are composed of it and operated by it. This Light has no opposite, no contrast. It is the essence, the sum and substance, of all that is, beyond any illusions. You CAN have that Light without any dark. It contains and forms what we might call light, and what we might call dark.
 
Ditto Love, too. Divine Love contains hatred as well as caring. It is UNconditional. So is the Light. UN conditional. No conditions affect it in any way.

Hope I have said it clearly enough. I see a lot of New Age folks trapped in duality-thinking about light and dark, which is how they get into “battle” mode, and try to have all the good, all the human-type conditional love, all the whatever they think is “light,” and none of the bad, the hate, the dark. Choosing sides of an opposite is still within duality-illusion. Unity-consciousness transcends both.

Best discussion of all this is early in Ken Wilber's book No Boundary. Very easy to understand.
 
The choice I mentioned above [young people choosing a non-vampire way of life] is not between good and evil, light and dark. It is a preference, not a judgment. We get to choose how much suffering we will endure and create. This can be done while solidly in unity consciousness.

That's my take on it. Those who say “You can't have light without the dark” are not speaking in unity consciousness, IMO, in which that statement about THAT(unity)  kind of Light, is false, but are speaking in duality-consciousness, in which that statement about another kind of light, is true.

That's my perspective.

And also, I have been toying with the idea of writing a blog on the very topic: Why I am not a “Lightworker” after that discussion on SS.But now I don't have to, you wrote it for me !!!!!

And also, of course, my recent blog on Presence vs Awareness of Presence makes the same points you are making, but in different language. Exact same thoughts.
 
Are we nit-pickers? Is this just splitting hairs? I believe the difference we are talking about is a source of a great deal of suffering in the world, especially among “Lightworkers.” and you pretty well described some of that suffering. Unbvelievable guilt, as well. Remorse. Self-condemnation. Frustration. Hopelessness. Self-mistrust, self-doubt. Etc. etc. Because we are believing we are spiritual failures, not realizing we are asking the impossible of ourselves !!!

Clarity about the distinction we are making I believe will alleviate the suffering AND enable more people to be in their true world-changing empowerment.

So no, not nitpicking.

IMHO, all of it.

THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!

OM Bastet

Have read a few of the comments, and have to add some thoughts I hope will be clarifying, and affirming.

In my cosmology, “darkness” is the Light of Infinite Consciousness/Beingness with deliberately-assumed veils of self-forgetfulness on. That's all it is, in essence. The resulting illusions are responsible for all suffering and all that we don't want, all that we regard as bad or evil.

In my cosmology, the Darkness is a project of the Light, for a limited time, for a specific purpose: to form a contrast so that “bliss” can be appreciated. Only the fish out of water can appreciate the water. The Darkness serves the Light's journey of Self-discovery, Self-exploration, and Self-appreciation.

And choosing the positive is NOT “within duality consciousness” IF and ONLY IF it is chosen as a preference, not a judgment. We are entitled and empowered to choose the positive, the light without a capital l, but not as THE OPPOSITE of bad or dark or evil, but as a preference. Been there done that with suffering enough, time for the good stuff. That's a preference, not a judgment. “I don't like it, I don't want it, it's unpleasant” is very different from “It's wrong, bad, evil.”

And I can only choose for me, I cannot choose for others. I can encourage and show them, but they are sovereign Beings with their own paths and projects and lessons and purposes.
 
Some of the apparent disagreements above are due to not making the distinction between a judgment and a preference, as near as I can tell. Those who insist they are Lightworkers because they choose the positive can be doing so either out of judgment, the attempt to pick one side of an opposite, or out of preference, because they have transcended the duality, see the underlying unity, and simply choose one manifestation of the All over another, because it feels better !!

It is on that basis that I think we can build a better world. We prefer health to illness, abundance to poverty, kindness to cruelty. Experience shows the former are more conducive to the life and thriving of the kinds of embodiments we are/have, and been there done that, time to choose life and thriving. And, by extension, make it available to others who CHOOSE it for themselves !!! THAT is my idea of  “Lightwork.”

And BTW Centria, I totally agree that “darkness” dissolves only in the Light of Awareness we bring to it. That is the ultimate Lightwork: bringing Consciousness to the less conscious, in ourselves.

I guess my final point is that Light is not defined by light. Light includes light and dark, and transcends both. To be a lightworker is to operate within duality-consciousness, i.e. within darkness, the illusion of opposites, operating with the veils still in place. To be a Lightworker is to operate within Unity consciousness, God-consciousness, God-realization, whatever ya wanna call it. It can appear that Lightworkers are doing the same kinds of actions in the world, for the same goals, as lightworkers, but they are coming from such a radically different reality, a radically different identity, a radically different perspective or world-view, that there is very little overlap.

IMHO. I never claim to to be uttering truth, only something others might resonate with, or not, which might prove useful to them, or not. In the dance of trying to understand one another, and reach clarity about what each one means, we are all enriched and expanded. I am delighted with the richness of the feast here, I have barely had a few bites !!!!!!

Blessings, OM Bastet

Centria/Kathy,

OM agrees with me (as does Satya-Seer who gives it a 10) - this blog is one for the ages.  May we have your permission to post it in OMs library pod - Collective Wisdom: The Library for Community Threads ? in the discussion board THREADS about Spiritual Wisdom?

As owner of this blog, we need only your permission, though if any posters were to have a strong opposition to making this immortal, certainly, we would have to consider that.

Thanks for daring to open the flood gates, so the stars of Gaia could come out and shine.

Deborah

I agree too!  I LOVED this blog entry!

I think of it like this. A Light Worker needs to go into the dark and it is something akin to  the old time way of developing film.If you were the developer of the film, then you knew that  you had to take the film into the dark room where it was hard to see, and there develop the picture.  Until you had developed the film and come out of the dark room, you really did not know just how great your picture might be.

I feel like I could call myself a Light Worker yet  I love the dark, the negative, for I see it as the shadow that defines the light.  I feel that we need the dark because being in the light all the time would perhaps blind us to something really good that the dark knew how to teach us, but we were perhaps going to miss if we thought of the dark as , “Oh, it's just that dark negative stuff I am suppose to dislike. 

So I guess I would say of myself that I am a Light worker, working in the dark, loving the dark for it's service to me of helping me to develop my pictures.  I hope to bring a light to the darkness in this world, but while doing that I am giving thanks FOR the darkness (for it is developing me.  I like what 1Vector3 said about how “The Darkness serves the Light's journey of Self-discovery, Self-exploration, and Self-appreciation.” That about says it all.

Yes!!  Yes!!  I believe that we absolutely can and do contain a multitude of contradictions.  What a stark world it would be without all of those facets, shades and color combinations wrapped up inside each of us. We also morph and shift, with new experiences, new input, new meditations, new epiphanies… so what we delighted in BEing previously may bear little or no resemblance to what we are delighting in BEing, today.
And of course, it's all good. :o)

(chuckling with you) Yep, we may just be reminded of the whole “now” thing.  But y'know what?  There's a great reason why the illusion of linear time was given to us, and that's because it's useful.  Nay, necessary!  So I'm going to go ahead and unapologetically make reference to it, dammit. LOL

“Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.” (author unknown to me)

And I agree, it IS a great gift, because it slows things down and enables our spirits to examine experience in more detail.

Blessings, OM

Today is my “catch up on gaia day”…LOLOL…Kathy, I am so happy you wrote this blog because it is how we met! There need not be any other reason for its existence…KIDDING! And to Mama Sue and Om, I say “Heck ya! What YOU said!” I can't really add anything as they covered it brilliantly. Oh, I can add something. To anyone who wants to recite little pretties about “there is only now” I have this to say: Yes, there is “only now” HOWEVER we CHOSE to incarnate as human beings and live in a 3D world. Linear time is an aspect of the world we CHOSE to live in. To negate linear time is to not have the full experience. I would  also have to wonder when they last had their chakras balanced. But that's just me.

The AlcheMystic has spoken!

I want to embrace this blog now, I don't think I did before, yet it is just what I needed to read at this time… 
I don't consider myself a Light worker even though I may be, I really don't even say I am a healing even though I offer healing. For the light on comes on or shines when the persons or situation is ready to receive the light. Healing in the same way, I can offer healing, lay my hands on someone, feel the energy flow through the ground, and our bodies yet if the person is not receptive healing will not be truly done, and we will be back at it another time… 

As I have danced with my shadow in the past few days, which has shown up as anger, self doubt, fear, where I had to breathe into every moment, so that I didn't just scream and run and hide…. 
Yet as a spiritual being my human say,  your not suppose to be “here” you not suppose to feel this but I did and if I had not acknowledged the feeling even though I was not really emoting it I was hangin in the dark… 
asking those dark questions, what good is all of this, what have I accomplish,  am I just crazy and lazy, who the hell are you foolin? etc… 
I made statements of my Being there and I ask for healing and hugs, support and encouragement… which allowed the steam to flow out..

So thank you revisiting this, I am glad I saw it today… 

I am Love, Jeff

Hi Kathy,

Aahhhh….the mind! I have a saying for moments when the mind is wrong and it goes a little something like this: “Sometimes thinking just doesn't work for me.” It's a funny thing to say. People look at me strangely when I say it.

Namaste!

Glad you like it! Here is another: “Being right isn't always the right thing to do.”

I love both of those sayings.  They are wise and made me laugh too.  I love bright truth.  Thanks so much Big Mimi (big letter “M”)