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celebration
November 2009 
Falling so in love with everyone
Posted on Dec 30th, 2008
by 
Centria
Centria
Does anyone else fall in love with everybody so much it hurts to imagine there's people you'll never meet, never get to feel their precious essences, never get to exchange words and silence and mixed-up thoughts? Every single person seems like a jewel shining encased in human body and to get the opportunity to witness that jewel expanding forth is the most awesome gift of each day.... As Rumi puts it: The Beloved.
It's like everyone is a blessing of the Universal All, totally unique, filled with light. Of course we can choose to concentrate instead on the shadows and define the essence by the shadows, but that really just obscures the truth. Think of all the essences of the larger Self unfolding before us daily! There's You and You and You, and don't you see You coming forth?
Sometimes I focus on the shadows and get lost in them, lost in the pain and suffering of people, lost in the dimness and negativity and longing and hurt. You can swim in those shadows for hours or days or years. You can push people away because their shadows hurt you so much, because their shadows encroach on your real or imagined boundaries. Or perhaps you push shadows away because they don't come close enough, because they don't seem to love you enough. Oh we pushers! Every one of us, pushing to and fro. Can we not sit still enough and notice to play of light and shadow, and simply allow it?
People in the Middle East this morning are battling shadows and imagined shadows. The Middle East? What am I talking about? Everywhere we're battling shadows, both inner and outer. There is a cashier at the local grocery store I do not seem to love. She has wild mussy hair and we've an intertwined history. She's negative. I do not like negative shadows, possibly because I've not yet fully learned to embrace my own negativity with hugs and tenderness.
Here on Gaia I sometimes want to meet everyone, develop relationships with every single essence of the Expanded All, to say "yes, you are a miracle" and "look at the miraculous ways you pour yourself into human form!" Sometimes sadness wrenches my heart when I see people talking over there on another blog and I can't get in and it has to be enough to say, "you guys have the relationship, it's OK but damn I may never know about the way your smile lilts upwards or the quirky things you say when exhausted or the way the beauty of you spills out and over and in between and around....."
Seriously, I am crying a tiny bit right now. Because of the You that will never be known, except by others. Perhaps it's selfish to want to Know so many parts of the Whole. Perhaps I need to dissolve even more until there's only rejoicing that the parts of Self are bubbling up like champagne and there's no need to know, or do, or even feel sadness because there's a rightness beyond every idea we hatch, even an idea that we want to know each precious person.....
And is there a part of me that doesn't fall in love with everyone? See if you can find both parts in yourself. The part that loves unconditionally and the part that holds conditions like cards in some crazy Rummy game. See how many rules keep your love guarded. See how you nurse past hurts and try to keep yourself safe from pain. Notice where you close down, guarded and shuttered, revealing your hand to no one. Yes, there's that part, too.
Just writing these words eases something, allows something. I think I shall celebrate now. Celebrate the precious parts of the Whole that birth into this day, and release the desire to know Every Part. To surrender to a deeper knowing that whatever appears is what appears. If we don't get to know each other better, I will not drown in the pain of it. There's plenty to love. Here. Right now. Today.
It's like everyone is a blessing of the Universal All, totally unique, filled with light. Of course we can choose to concentrate instead on the shadows and define the essence by the shadows, but that really just obscures the truth. Think of all the essences of the larger Self unfolding before us daily! There's You and You and You, and don't you see You coming forth?
Sometimes I focus on the shadows and get lost in them, lost in the pain and suffering of people, lost in the dimness and negativity and longing and hurt. You can swim in those shadows for hours or days or years. You can push people away because their shadows hurt you so much, because their shadows encroach on your real or imagined boundaries. Or perhaps you push shadows away because they don't come close enough, because they don't seem to love you enough. Oh we pushers! Every one of us, pushing to and fro. Can we not sit still enough and notice to play of light and shadow, and simply allow it?
People in the Middle East this morning are battling shadows and imagined shadows. The Middle East? What am I talking about? Everywhere we're battling shadows, both inner and outer. There is a cashier at the local grocery store I do not seem to love. She has wild mussy hair and we've an intertwined history. She's negative. I do not like negative shadows, possibly because I've not yet fully learned to embrace my own negativity with hugs and tenderness.
Here on Gaia I sometimes want to meet everyone, develop relationships with every single essence of the Expanded All, to say "yes, you are a miracle" and "look at the miraculous ways you pour yourself into human form!" Sometimes sadness wrenches my heart when I see people talking over there on another blog and I can't get in and it has to be enough to say, "you guys have the relationship, it's OK but damn I may never know about the way your smile lilts upwards or the quirky things you say when exhausted or the way the beauty of you spills out and over and in between and around....."
Seriously, I am crying a tiny bit right now. Because of the You that will never be known, except by others. Perhaps it's selfish to want to Know so many parts of the Whole. Perhaps I need to dissolve even more until there's only rejoicing that the parts of Self are bubbling up like champagne and there's no need to know, or do, or even feel sadness because there's a rightness beyond every idea we hatch, even an idea that we want to know each precious person.....
And is there a part of me that doesn't fall in love with everyone? See if you can find both parts in yourself. The part that loves unconditionally and the part that holds conditions like cards in some crazy Rummy game. See how many rules keep your love guarded. See how you nurse past hurts and try to keep yourself safe from pain. Notice where you close down, guarded and shuttered, revealing your hand to no one. Yes, there's that part, too.
Just writing these words eases something, allows something. I think I shall celebrate now. Celebrate the precious parts of the Whole that birth into this day, and release the desire to know Every Part. To surrender to a deeper knowing that whatever appears is what appears. If we don't get to know each other better, I will not drown in the pain of it. There's plenty to love. Here. Right now. Today.
Access: Public
I find it fascinating that the accounts in the bible when Jesus returned from the dead….he was not recognized. I think that’s where my work on this earth lies…to better recognize the good that is all. Your blog was a good jump start to this process.
that was amazing centria. you said it all
love always,
jen
you’re so beautiful. every blog just shines out more of the excellencies of the love you are!
Thomas Merton said something quite like what you did. that if we all recognized this holiness about each other that the big problem would be that we would be busy falling down in worship and awe of each other. your blogs are inspiring and wonderful, Kathy. thank you.
Oh, Kathy, the things you say. The words just float right into my core. I’m feeling so speechless, just thinking “yes” & “yes”. What a gift you are.
My Heart, Ayla
I only have 3 little big words to say, YOU ROCK! ok that’s 2 but who’s counting. It’s … I love you.
It’s natural to be attach to the physical form. But can you actually build an entire relationship without the tangibility of meeting?
yeah Liza….that’s called safe sex
I just came to comment and Tom’s comment must have just snuck in and now I’m laughing so hard I can hardly type. Safe sex indeed…. ha ha, won’t touch that one with a ten foot pole!
OK, settling around now into some seriousness, do you think Mr. Tom the reason people couldn’t recognize Jesus is that they couldn’t recognize the Jesus within themselves first? That maybe we have to have something within that Knows before we can see it mirrored back to us externally. Dunno, just a random thought and possibly completely wrong.
Jenni, Nicole, Ayla….hands to my heart, bowing to you all in awe and gratitude for your existence.
Laura, I sometimes feel utterly silly feeling so much love for people here. Just connecting more with you in the last few weeks makes me want to dance with joy. Does that sound totally ridiculous? It’s true. You have been someone I wanted to know better….
Liza, friend forever, do you think? Without the tangibility of meeting? Yes, yes!!
safe sex, Tom? LOL.. hahaha.
Kath, my FFL thank you.
Kathy, that makes me feel so good. I’ve so enjoyed getting to know you better too. You really put a smile on my face with that comment.
Liza & Laura: :) Who’s smiling now?
I think that people spend too much time living on this plane…and Jesus was here to teach us that there’s another realm….so once Jesus left this plane….it took a few moments for some to recognize him and his recall his teachings. So…I will say this….I leave you my peace, as it was left to me by him.
And peace be with you, Mazy. And peace be with you. Did I tell you I “saw” you in meditation this morning….your spirit seems to be glowing lately. I swear. I will believe anything you say. (within limits, knowing you….)
Isn’t itgood to feel love without a body. It does create another meaningfor the phrase “Free Love.”
I totally enjoy our love Kathy. Thank you.
Hal
it must have been that orange shirt he was wearing the other blog.
I want in on the love fest here too. It is amazing how much love I feel for everyone here…and how it keeps expanding to include more and more and more love and awe and gratitude.
Hal, there you go….”Free Love”…..you are so right. Damn, I just got quiet to feel your spirit and got teary-eyed for a moment there. And you too, Helen. When we sit in that love place in our hearts, there’s just more and more. I appreciate you so much….
Jenni, definitely, it had to be the orange shirt. :)
You know what I was thinking this morning? How hard it is when you feel the energy of people and you feel that they’re judgmental or disbelieving or angry or annoyed and you just want to hug them and and say, “oh please don’t harden like this, please don’t choose to interpret things in that light, please don’t throw away our infinite possibilities.” I look around and sometimes feel the energy of people who have closed against me or against others, and it really hurts. Maybe someday I’ll be blase and just say easily “that’s their thing” (and sometimes that’s possible) but in the meantime sometimes the biggest challenge for me is to keep my heart open when others shuts theirs down. To keep the heart open when it feels like a door has been closed….
that is a big challenge centria. it hurts too as you say. sometimes we just have to wait it out.
“Love is not a thing to understand.
Love is not a thing to feel.
Love is not a thing to give and receive.
Love is a thing only to become
And eternally be. .”
Jenni, yes….patience, waiting, allowing. I feel it’s a big challenge for many people here and in the world.
Eli, oh yes, you bring us to the larger awareness where Love is all there is, where we’re becoming, or realizing we were love all along (and perhaps simply forgot.)
Today I am interested in the messiness of human feelings, of allowing sadness to exist. Of allowing the light of awareness to cuddle against human sadness and simply allow it to Be. To allow all sorts of contradictory emotions and feelings and motives to exist. And, instead of pushing them away, to say “yes, and yes, and yes again. You can exist. And you, too. And you, too.” Not to turn anything away too callously, especially the parts of the larger self we don’t like, let alone love…..
Dear Cent,
you have a heart as big as the moon and you do a great job enfolding us all who love you. We can be “in love” and it feels great and euphoric which is fabulous because euphoria is rare. But “being love” is harder because it requires some action from us - spiritual action - which I think is the hardest— to move from concept ideal to actual action. As my cousin always says “it really difficult., I know i should do it, but it’s hard.:. A great part lies with how we view “others” - and then decided how to treat them. In reality there is no “others”. Everyone is having a hard time.
Your blogs always bring us together. Thank you.
_^_ bows
I am feeling a lot of emotions right like you speak of and I am ready now to accept all of them. It is okay
Dear Mims, ahhh yes. That move from concept ideal (even with its emotions) to spiritual action. It can be so hard. “being love”….oh doesn’t that sound like something we all aspire to?….yet sometimes fall flat on our faces when we don’t like the cashier at the local grocery store. And perhaps even that it somehow OK, because it is what is. But it gets a little fuzzy here….we need to make spiritual effort and yet the making of spiritual effort makes us realize that nothing more is required. YIKES!!! I say YIKES!!!
On that note, I’ve been married for nigh on 30 years. You learn a lot about nurturing that Love Essence. You have to keep on communicating, expressing, checking back saying stuff like “Do you mean this….?” or “Do you mean that?” You learn a lot about being love in the midst of situations when every part of you says “I”m outa here!” But you stay (if that’s what you choose) and something deepens that is so much deeper than the “falling in love”.
I think sometimes on Gaia and in other friendships it sometimes becomes too frightening or scary or too much bother to keep mining that diamond of communication. Sometimes we just listen too much to the surface words and turn away too quickly.
Jenni, it is okay. I guess all of it’s okay, you think?
Kathy, I think it’s a very healthy thing to have - there are a lot of people who instead of finding reasons to love find reasons to obsess…for example, people with gambling or drug addictions. What better way to spend your time than spreading and feeling positive emotions?
I think you are right centria
Wow. I have never read anything like this! You all are so open to everything, and so open about your feelings, beliefs, and emotions. I love it!! So jeez I kept thinking of all these things I wanted to comment on as I read all the responses, but I can remember a few of them:
First, you do not have to see each other to love each other (as you already know). My best friend lives on the other side of the country. I have only ever seen him twice in my life but I can honestly see I will love him forever. Personal contact would be great, but isn’t love blind anyway?
And I can also understand why it would be sad to think of all the amazing people we will never have the pleasure of encountering, but if we choose to think of how fortunate we are for the people in or lives now, that hurt can disappear. We’re all blessed and all it takes is a little heartfelt thought to realize it :)
I don’t feel like this compares to the words of wisdom I’ve been reading here (I’m only 18 so I have a while to go!), but gotta start sometime!
Eric, you made me smile. Are you saying loving people is a better thing to do rather than gambling & doing drugs? I do think you’re right. It feels better anyway….
Jenni: big smile! Happy New Years!
Sam, so good that you stopped by & commented. I think you have plenty of words of wisdom. You are so right….you don’t have to see another to love them. AND you are exactly totally right. When we look at what we have (instead of what we don’t have) we’re filled with only gratitude & more love. See how wise you are!! Teenagers have been some of my greatest teachers. As well as elders. There’s teachers everywhere, and we never quit learning if we stay wide open. :)
Aww, thanks! I’m excited to learn more and hear more wisdom through Gaia :) have a happy New Year… I have a feeling it’s going to be a great one.
wow, centria, i rarely comment here cus there are so many folks that hang out and comment so frequently on your blog which makes me more introverted, but wanted to stop by and say hi.
i loved your earlier idea of spreading the love and sending folks hither and yon, stretching out and expanding into the beautiful array of horizon here at gaia. but folks tend to get comfy in what is comfy and you are a comfy place to be! you make it that way and even though I rarely comment, I am conscious of your shining presence here.
love and cheers to the new year, oh beloved and popular one!
mary
wow
what a genius work of art!! I loved the way you put this into words. I thought of the same exact concept except in a veryconcise form.
Keep those ideas coming!
Sam, thanks for the New Years Wishes. It’s gonna be a great one, you’re right!
Mary, thank you so much for your kind words. Maybe people feel comfy cuz I love ‘em so much? But sometimes I just want to be comfy with every single person here, all of the thousands of them. Kinda ridiculous, yes?
Ala, don’t you love those moments when your soul and the words somehow join hands, and you’re riding a wave that you know is bigger than what existed before? I don’t think you can stop ideas when they come like that. (and then there’s the days when no ideas seem to come….)
Oh Kathy, I bow at your beautiful Lotus feet as you bow at ours. There is a tear of joy in falling from my eye presently, percipitated by your love. Where will it fall? I have a vision now of you that you’ve been swimming against a current, and all of a sudden that it becomes effortless. You’re are teaching us about loving unconditionally.
I have not seen or communicated here much recently but feel this love from you. Jesus said, I am with you always (no divisions of time, space, etc.).
You are a beautiful expression of this love and an example to us all. I honor you and hold you in awareness with Peace, Love and Joy.
Wonderful post Kath! Perhaps we can start by being with our shadows, seeing them, communicating with them to understand what they have to say to us, and in it learn to love our own shadows?
Maybe shadows are just shadows and once in the light disappear or soften?
Then maybe, it becomes easier to love other people’s shadows because we now see them in ourselves? Really see them. The shadows of others arise in us after all. If they didn’t, then would we see them at all? Really where would they be? Do they hang out at the Shadow Bar waiting for someone to come along who actually believes in them? I think so. I have picked them up and let them have their way with me. :o)
And Yes, let’s see what is good and love everyone! And where would that happen? Inside us? And so maybe I can provide a really big space for all of what is inside to arise that includes the world whether I judge it good, bad, shadow, fun, scary, loving, or whatever instead of pushing it away? After all, who is doing the evaluation?
Maybe in the presence to everything there is a new definition of loving? Maybe it is bigger and more real? Maybe it is soooooooo Big it is indescribable? Can it be so large that we can’t even set up rules about it and what it looks like and how it feels? What kind of love would that be?
Maybe it doesn’t involve needing anything from another? Maybe it doesn’t involve they be a certain way, believe a certain way? Maybe I can do that for myself too? Maybe in that vulnerability and willingness to accept all, I see myself so clearly in the mirror that everyone provides.
And maybe it is o.k. too when I am not o.k. with the world or myself? Maybe I can be real enough to love that even If I perceive it as a failing? Maybe even that brings me closer to loving myself and everyone? Not in the “you gotta act right” for me to love you way.
It could be in a very human way and include all of our inner stuff. Maybe we can look at our inner stuff together wide open in the light. Might it take some of its power and influence away? In one instance, I might not actually act on it and it could feel like walking into the fresh breeze of nirvana of what is as it is?
Maybe there doesn’t have to be large scale drama because instantly I see that part of you I judge is really me and I can hold out my hand and love you for showing me myself rather than fighting, resisting, or trying to change anyone, anything?
Uh! Oh! I feel another Kath inspired poem coming on. :o)
Oh the questions I have….
Wonderful Writing and Deeply Real Kath!
Loving Your Reflection!
z
Dear John, your beautiful words warm my heart. Unconditional love….yes. I think the words we feel and say to others express so much about the openess of where we are in our life. So everything you just said to me is the love of John speaking to the love of the All of Life….we’re all bowing at the Lotus Feet of love, endlessly. Unless we’re not (hence I had to write another blog about “not loving”….just as you were posting this comment….but I suspect the “not loving” blog is just another reflection of loving, turned upside down.) Thank you dear friend.
Now Zennie, I must re-read again your entry very slowly before commenting. Picked ‘em up at the Shadow Bar!! How very funny….Oh Zennie. You ARE a poem in the birthing, a poem coming forth from every sentence. I like everything you’ve said. Ditto everything I just said to John. I keep highlighting different sentences but they’re all so alive. Here’s a handful that tug at my heart:
Maybe in the presence to everything there is a new definition of loving? Maybe it is bigger and more real? Maybe it is soooooooo Big it is indescribable? Can it be so large that we can’t even set up rules about it and what it looks like and how it feels? What kind of love would that be?
Ah, I tried to post here yesterday and couldn’t - not sorry, because your blog was excellent,much food for thought, so many of the posts too, were really good reads that I might have missed yesterday. Thank you Kathy.
Don’t you love it Zephyr that we comment or post at just the right time we’re meant to? I love it! I also love everyone’s comments….they’re so beautiful they dance right off the computer screen and into the world. :)
If only everyone had the opportunity to experience something like this, I’m blown away by the deep conversations we can have so easily with people who would otherwise be considered “total strangers”. It’s wonderful.
Sam, that is a precious gift of this Gaia-space, that we can get into such depths of conversation. The comments are probably the most precious part of it all, the people sharing back and forth. And it’s also amazing how quickly these “total strangers” become good friends. Pretty soon you’re talking on the phone, or emailing, or even visiting them! so good to meet you….
Haha, this is definitely true. And I do find it incredible how close people can gro when distance separates them from actually seeing one another.
My best friend lives in Washington, and I have only seen him two times in my life. But through our phone calls and online chats, we have maintained one of the strongest relationships I have ever been in.
Thank goodness for the technologies that allow us to have these long-distance relationships as well as our short-distance relationships. I think both kinds of relationships have their strengths and weaknesses. Awareness beams through in different ways. We can see some things clearer “long distance” and some things clearer “short distance”. Glad you have made a dear friend of the long distance variety. I have a few of those too…. :)
They definitely do have their strengths and weaknesses. Physical closeness seems so vital to any relationship, and wonderful as it is, it really isn’t necessary. But having friends and family long distances away can be so amazing. It’s like it makes you appreciate those individuals so much more, while allowing you to appreciate those you have close to you even more, simply because you do ahve them by your side when you need them there.
Sam, you are so right. Thank you for shining your light here & sharing the truth of what you know. Blessings, Kathy
Aww, thank you Kathy! I’m so glad to be a part of a place where everyone’s thoughts are welcomed.
yes, everyone all the time….I love people…well I goosh about most stuff…people say I am easy to please…but I did see a bumper sticker that said mean people suck…I still kinda like : x
Janie….giggling about that bumper sticker! So funny…. I’ll bet you are exactly the kind of person that loves people most of the time & are easy to please. You can tell just by looking at that smile in your picture. :)