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gall bladder
June 2009 
It's been the best of weeks; It's been the worst of weeks....
Posted on Nov 30th, 2008
by 
Centria
Centria
I suppose we can always say that. It's been the best of weeks; it's been the worst of weeks. If we're aware we can see the peak moments of joy (if we're allowing them) and the dismal moments of suffering (if we're allowing them). So this quote is probably true for many of us.
Please do not read on if you have a queasy stomach. Stop now. Proceed to another blog immediately. I'm warning you; this may get graphic.
As some of you know, I have a gall bladder which doesn't work very well. Two and a half years ago a smiling surgeon insisted upon taking it out. Smiling back, I insisted upon trying a new diet to "fix" it. He blithely agreed, then warned: "You'll be back. You'll get tired of eating wheat germ." Or was it granola? Whatever. I gave him the evil eye and departed.
So two years pass on a Macrobiotic Diet. The symptoms disappear; Kathy is happy. Kathy and husband have lost weight, feel good, the world looks grand. We love our diet. So Kathy goes on one of her family vacations last June and decides to honor her brother and family by partaking in bratwurst and ice cream sundae (after a week of pretty casual eating including poppyseed bagels with strawberry cream cheese, yum, yum!)
One day later - acute gall bladder attack. Thinking-you're-gonna-die-attack. Lying on the couch and wondering if perhaps an ambulance should be summonsed. Cursing the smiling surgeon's prediction. Listening to the relatives (who have opposed the Macrobiotic Diet since Day 1 preferring I eat "normal") insisting "Just get the gall bladder out, Kathy!!" Everybody tells how easy the operation is; everybody urges surgery. "Just do it!"
But I quickly and stubbornly return to low-fat mostly-vegan eating and the gall bladder pain disappears. A happy summer and fall pass. Until. Until I go to Europe earlier this month.
There is something wrong with me and it's worst than gall bladders. I forget. I forget that the gall bladder is not completely healed. But, before leaving, the gall bladder and I had a talk. "Listen, sweetheart, lovey, please, please, please be good and I'll try to eat well and when we get back from Europe everything will go back to normal, promise you, love, hugs, kisses." The gall bladder promised to be good, and off we went.
Now somehow that part "I'll try to eat well" seemed to disappear from my memory. So, happily, I ate delicious cheeses and breads and croissants and pastries and coffees and creams and oily smoked eel and meat and....yes....a half a box of Belgium chocolates.
Now's the part queasy readers should depart. The first week after returning from Europe I started eating fairly well again. But, sadly, last Saturday night found me shaking in hot cold sweats, gripped with incredible pain for over five hours from both the stomach and gall bladder areas, barely cognizant and suffering terribly. Until vomiting forcefully into the toilet. At which point the pain thankfully ceased.
You're safe for a few sentences. I started eating really really really healthy after that point, but mindlessly stuffed some of my daughter's chips in mouth on Tuesday and....you got it....repeat performance. Except this time it was worse. I kept throwing up over and over, but apparently it wasn't deep enough to appease the gall bladder. Until finally, at somewhere near 2 a.m., a final vomit quickly and efficiently stopped the terrible pain.
OK, so the gall bladder may have to go. I'm OK with that. Well, I'm not OK with that, but realize it might be an eventual happening. But, please, would like a little assistance from the Universe just to allow everything to get back to Center again. Balanced. I will eat well. I will not splurge next vacation. Promise. Double promise.
It's funny how pain and suffering act as an impetus to allow one to re-think one's priorities. I am remembering things that have been pushed away a bit, like being present in the body. Like re-prioritizing. Remembering what's important. Oh, and has anyone tried to maintain Presence while throwing up? Or being really sick? Anyone who can do so gets the Award of the Week. Because it's really really hard to be Present at moments like those.
Anyway, that's the wrap up. Barry keeps asking how I'm feeling. I said, "It feels like sitting really close to a cliff. One wrong move and down you go." He wants to know more, but that's the only words that describe it. Of course there's benefits to sitting up here on the cliff not moving much. You're moving so slowly and carefully that the world begins to look incredibly beautiful and full of depth. That's why it's been the best of weeks. It's good to slow down and see all the little things you miss when you're rushing.
Please do not read on if you have a queasy stomach. Stop now. Proceed to another blog immediately. I'm warning you; this may get graphic.
As some of you know, I have a gall bladder which doesn't work very well. Two and a half years ago a smiling surgeon insisted upon taking it out. Smiling back, I insisted upon trying a new diet to "fix" it. He blithely agreed, then warned: "You'll be back. You'll get tired of eating wheat germ." Or was it granola? Whatever. I gave him the evil eye and departed.
So two years pass on a Macrobiotic Diet. The symptoms disappear; Kathy is happy. Kathy and husband have lost weight, feel good, the world looks grand. We love our diet. So Kathy goes on one of her family vacations last June and decides to honor her brother and family by partaking in bratwurst and ice cream sundae (after a week of pretty casual eating including poppyseed bagels with strawberry cream cheese, yum, yum!)
One day later - acute gall bladder attack. Thinking-you're-gonna-die-attack. Lying on the couch and wondering if perhaps an ambulance should be summonsed. Cursing the smiling surgeon's prediction. Listening to the relatives (who have opposed the Macrobiotic Diet since Day 1 preferring I eat "normal") insisting "Just get the gall bladder out, Kathy!!" Everybody tells how easy the operation is; everybody urges surgery. "Just do it!"
But I quickly and stubbornly return to low-fat mostly-vegan eating and the gall bladder pain disappears. A happy summer and fall pass. Until. Until I go to Europe earlier this month.
There is something wrong with me and it's worst than gall bladders. I forget. I forget that the gall bladder is not completely healed. But, before leaving, the gall bladder and I had a talk. "Listen, sweetheart, lovey, please, please, please be good and I'll try to eat well and when we get back from Europe everything will go back to normal, promise you, love, hugs, kisses." The gall bladder promised to be good, and off we went.
Now somehow that part "I'll try to eat well" seemed to disappear from my memory. So, happily, I ate delicious cheeses and breads and croissants and pastries and coffees and creams and oily smoked eel and meat and....yes....a half a box of Belgium chocolates.
Now's the part queasy readers should depart. The first week after returning from Europe I started eating fairly well again. But, sadly, last Saturday night found me shaking in hot cold sweats, gripped with incredible pain for over five hours from both the stomach and gall bladder areas, barely cognizant and suffering terribly. Until vomiting forcefully into the toilet. At which point the pain thankfully ceased.
You're safe for a few sentences. I started eating really really really healthy after that point, but mindlessly stuffed some of my daughter's chips in mouth on Tuesday and....you got it....repeat performance. Except this time it was worse. I kept throwing up over and over, but apparently it wasn't deep enough to appease the gall bladder. Until finally, at somewhere near 2 a.m., a final vomit quickly and efficiently stopped the terrible pain.
OK, so the gall bladder may have to go. I'm OK with that. Well, I'm not OK with that, but realize it might be an eventual happening. But, please, would like a little assistance from the Universe just to allow everything to get back to Center again. Balanced. I will eat well. I will not splurge next vacation. Promise. Double promise.
It's funny how pain and suffering act as an impetus to allow one to re-think one's priorities. I am remembering things that have been pushed away a bit, like being present in the body. Like re-prioritizing. Remembering what's important. Oh, and has anyone tried to maintain Presence while throwing up? Or being really sick? Anyone who can do so gets the Award of the Week. Because it's really really hard to be Present at moments like those.
Anyway, that's the wrap up. Barry keeps asking how I'm feeling. I said, "It feels like sitting really close to a cliff. One wrong move and down you go." He wants to know more, but that's the only words that describe it. Of course there's benefits to sitting up here on the cliff not moving much. You're moving so slowly and carefully that the world begins to look incredibly beautiful and full of depth. That's why it's been the best of weeks. It's good to slow down and see all the little things you miss when you're rushing.
Access: Public
I have gall bladder issues Kathy. I change my eating habits back in Jan and eliminated too much fat from my diet and I began to experience the pain you described. I have had about four attacks that have lasted anywhere from 30 minutes to 5 or 6 hours. I use a castor oil pack and heat when I am having one and that usually stops it.
Like you, I am not interested in having it removed. I know I am the one who created the issues, not just from the food, but from a belief standpoint as well as an emotional one. It seems the root for gall badder issues is anger. It's some form of anger that sits curled up in some corner of my memory and is just waits to express itself through the gall bladder instead of me releasing it in another form. It is all energy that manifests in some way.
I have had acupuncture and cupping treatments that help some, but the best results come when I start to look in the corners of my belief system and find some cob webs of anger that I have ignored for whatever reason. I do this daily using several different methods and I am having good results. I have not had an attack in over a month. I do eat a vegan diet, and I enjoy it. I have lost the craving for some of the foods that might cause my gall bladder to object, and I am content eating baby food for a while. I believe we can heal ourselves, but old beliefs are hard to change especially when everyone is telling you what they think you should do. They do it in a loving way, but it does get in the way of changing your own beliefs and thoughts about your choice and path.
Once again we are much more connected than we realize. I was not surprized to see your blog today, it was what I needed to read so I could share my thoughts with you.
I appreciated what you are experiencing and perhaps if we change our beliefs about the power we have within us, some MD will give us a volume discount. Just kidding of course, no need to confuse ourselves and create more anger, right?
so tell me…what happens when it's removed….does everything get all better, or does ti still remain complex?
Loving thoughts to you (and Hal)…
Kathy,
My mom started having gall bladder problems right after I was born. She stayed on a special diet for about a year, then opted for surgery. After her gall bladder was removed, she still experienced “phantom attacks.”
I really believe what Hal expressed about the anger lurking in the corners, because just before I had this awful attack on the day after Thanksgiving, I had an argument with my mother. We have some ongoing issues because we see things differently, and this time, I chose to walk away before the argument was finished. I guess I took some anger up to bed with me.
I also know from the amount of attacks that teachers have been having at my job, that stress (and anger) can be the catalyst. Sometimes good stress, like going to Europe, is still stress on the body. Other gall bladder triggers are having babies or having operations.
So, I think you are doing the logical thing by making friends with your gall bladder, and trying to stay centered. It's funny because usually the docs say that changing your eating habits won't cure much, but in the case of gall bladder, they agree. Amazing!
Living on berries and crackers right now. I am afraid to eat.
xo
Andrea
I eat pretty well, but I am not vegetarian. I eat lots of veggies, and very few wheat products, since they tend to flare autoimmune symptoms.
Thank you all for your concern and love! Hal, it's just another synchronicity that we both experience gall bladder problems. I am glad you have been able to keep yours under control through diet and working on the belief structures that help create illness.
Interestingly, from what I've read (and the dialoguing I've done w Ms. G. Bladder) it seems that the formation of gallstones has lots to do with anger issues. Other gall bladder problems may also have anger at its root….but I haven't been able to find a lot of unresolved issues personally. Rather, part of my belief-paradigm that seems to keep cropping up is challenges in dealing with the “fat” of life. More on the line of attachments to things which cause joy….too complicated to get into right now. But those beliefs are the ones I work with around this gall bladder issue.
Tom, some people say it gets better when they are removed. Some people say it's still complex. Guess it depends who you talk to. As usual! :)
Helen, thanks for the loving thoughts. Those mean a lot this week.
Andrea, I understand that fear to eat. Have been watching that in myself, as well. You know, you're undoubtedly right about stress, even “good” stress, re-activating these symptoms. I did have some feelings of anger arise last night and….guess what started hurting almost immediately? But the dialoguing with Ms. G. Bladder seems the way to go once again. She's jumping up and down trying to get attention, so will have to listen more clearly to what her message might be. And, who knows, maybe she'll bring up anger issues that aren't at the surface of consciousness yet.
By the way, it's been, well, let's not say fun, but novel, meeting a new Gaian friend while bonding over gall bladder problems. I hope yours gets better soon.
Kathy, I hope that you have talked nicely to your gall bladder and that she is prepared to listen to you. Like you, I prefer to avoid surgery whenever possible and believe in the capacity of the body to heal itself–at least a good portion of the time. However, I have a friend who recently had her gall bladder removed and she feels much better–so I don't know what to tell you except that I hope you feel better soon.
Well Kathy, you and gall bladder, dispite your disagreement, know how to write a good blog. Fair be from me to advise anyone about pain, but I have heard that pain is inevitable but suffering optional. Hope you feel better.
Just take the best of care of your loving, wonderful self, my friend. I'm sending healing energies your way.
Okay, a blog that has a disclaimer at the beginning probably shouldn't be funny but I sure did have a lopsided grin on my face reading your blog! Why? Because I've done the exact same thing all my life except my pain came once a month and lasted about a week! I'd talk to the uterus and make bargains, promise the world, tell it I'd take it to exotic places with warm, sandy beaches if it would only give me half the cramping the following month…
There is nothing like that intense pain to awaken the fact that we are ALL walking around in fairly healthy bodies MOST of the time but we don't notice it. (same goes for breathing in and out) we take our healthy, relatively pain free and fully operational bodies for granted. When was the last time you made a list of everything you were thankful for and put breathing in and out at the top of the list?! Hmm?
Before the invention of Advil (yes, there was such a time and I'm not that old either!) I used to take asprin for my monthly cramping. It never worked. Ever. After Advil (did you know it used to be available only as a prescription?) I could at least start taking it before the cramping and the worst of the symptoms would be kept at bay. In theory…
The coolest thing about Advil, for me, was the way my body would go from agony to a release of the pain. There is no describing the sensation although the cliff analogy was pretty good, Centria! Unbelieveable pain then heavenly release from the pain… it made me realise what a healthy body felt like. This blog reminded me, again, because I forget, to be thankful for how GOOD I feel at this precise moment! Sitting still at the edge of the cliff… breathing in and out… thank goodness for that.
My uterus and I parted ways this summer and I am extremely happy about it! I don't recommend surgery unless you have a conversation with your gall bladder and both of you are at peace with the decision to go your separate ways. I'm not kidding about that either. Surgery isn't easy on the entire system and the weirdness of the rest of the organs fighting over the new open 'real estate' can be disconcerting to say the least…
I'm sending the most gentle hug possible to both you and your gall bladder. Both of you have been thru alot lately! A trip to Europe for heaven's sake… what's a gall bladder to do when it's host is gorging on Exotic Chocolate?! ~grin~
Holding you in the light, Kathy.
love and blessings,
CG
Lenore, I have heard so many people say the exact same thing as your friend. They feel so much better when the gall bladder is out. At this point I'm still looking at the body as a hologram designed to help, teach, point, assist….gesturing towards awareness….. however, (laughing) maybe it's eventually suppose to teach to let go.
Janine, YES! I so agree with your words. Right on! Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. I've been feeling lots of pain this week, but not much suffering. Some suffering, yes, when believing the weekly re-runs of Thoughts. By the way, don't you love it that Voice Dialogue can become Body Dialogue?
Kat and CG, your healing energies seem to be working. I feel much less tentative today, and not in any pain right now. Ahhh…..feels good….thank you so much.
Amber, I am glad you were grinning w this blog. That's one of the reasons I love the write….it entertains me (even if no one else.) Yes, I used to experience intense monthly cramping, although not as intense as you, perhaps. This gall bladder pain was similar. A sense of deja vu….ah, yes, we've experienced this before….
And isn't it true how pain does somehow have a cleansing effect to wake us up and make us grateful for simply things like breathing…..walking……eating. Thank you for that perspective that shows that surgery isn't just an easy or simple re-adjustment, either. New open real estate….now I'm grinning! You're funny.
By the way, we were going to give the box of exotic chocolates to Sandra when we met her. But she had a toothache and was headed for the dentist. So…..what were we to do? The chocolates just begged to be eaten. “Eat us! Eat us!” cried the luscious gooey caramels and coconuts. “We're from Belgium! We're the best chocolates in the world!”
hehehe how can one NOT be stuck present in a vomiting moment or of one in pain..the challenge for me is still to see things outside of those moments that the world is not ending and it is still there just as always
i think people who have chronic pain and learn to manage it in a way similar to mine find a different way to look at the world all of the time
however, in reading this I was reminded that the further away i get from having unpredictable pain and/or symptoms the simpler it is to forget to use the new eyes to see, to experience, and to stoke my flame–the one that doesn't shift or waver for anything!!
pssst…i'll talk to your gall bladder FOR you :D
Elisa, you are so right. At least about the vomiting moment. One is in the present. Thank you for that insight!
I was thinking more about the way thoughts seem to swirl in the head without any sense of rhyme or reason we're you're feeling ill. Then it's like a crazy mish-mash, don't you think?
And, yes, indeed, see if you can talk some sense into the old girl, will you? :)
thinking of you.. sending metta from Toronto.. may you be well, happy, peaceful and free from harm.
Liza, so delighted to see you here! Was wondering where you'd disappeared to. Thanks for the metta, and sending some back your way as well. I am feeing soooooo much better. Still eating really healthy & limited, but even dared a cup of coffee w soymilk this morning. Yumm….not taking things for granted. Savoring every sip, every bite of this life, for now. big love!
Catch some healing light, energy and scents (from my icon) and from me! Whatever is best, 'you' will know in time. Hugging you, dear Kathy! May that soothe some of the pain!
Am also having a toothache since two days ago, but not suffering. My dentist couldn't open his clinic as their generator went kaput due to the intermittent electricity cuts! Hopefully he'll call me to come over for a root canal tomorrow.
Kathy,
Perhaps something as simple as exercise could help. Although I think that thing about repressed anger might be a part of it.
hugs,
~lars
Lars, HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST I HAVE REPRESSED ANGER!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAY???
ha ha that's about as much anger as I could summons. But seriously, have never had much trouble expressing anger as it comes up….well, not usually….hmmm, maybe sometimes…..oh you're just confusing me. Now I'm back to thinking about all the parts of self. Alas.
I like the exercise but looked like some weird person with legs halfway sideways in the air. But could tell it did affect the gall bladder area. muchas gracias, amigo.
Mila, every day seems to be getting better. thank you for that healing light, energy and scents. That must be why today was so lovely. But I am feeling sorry for your tooth. Toothaches are not fun. I hope you'll get that root canal (or whatever is needed) soon. Blessings, dear friend!
wishing you good thoughts —
peace love & joy
Thank you, dear Nightphoenix for your good thoughts. (I'm glad you weren't afraid I'd yell at you…)
The peace, love and joy sounds really good. :) Blessings back your way.
Back a few years ago they thought they were going to have to remove my gall bladder. Fortunately for me, it was related to a medication I was on (they finally found one I was allergic to), and I remember the pain and it truly was crippling.
I give you credit for fighting, K, I can't imagine the discipline it takes to stay focused for so long. I hope that you find the balance you seek.
Eric, so sorry to hear you had that crippling gall bladder pain, too. Thank goodness they discovered what was happening! I am fortunate that I’ve only had three acute attacks in 2 1/2 years. No pain otherwise, if I stick with the diet. It really doesn’t take much discipline (very surprisingly enough) because it feels so good to be eating healthy. Go figure. P.S. I don’t know if the balance will “stay”, but this week has been lovely in that regard. I feel so much better. (broken record, keep saying that!) Blessings to you.
Hi Kath,
Very sorry to hear about your gall stones. I have friends and family with this condition and they each did something different.
Mom - She had the surgery 40+ years ago and has lived trouble free since.
Dave - He has very painful stones from time to time. He goes to the Doctor for a sonic treatment that breaks up the stones so they are easier to pass.
My friend Cherokee is a Registerd Nurse, dietician, herbologist, and massage therapist. It might be faster to list what she doesn’t do. Anyway, she has a gall bladder flush that she has used for a number of her natural health clients. Let me know, and I can send you her phone number if you want to go that route. Cheri goes the traditional medicine route first even though she also works in the western medical community.
Here is a website the has a gallstone flush treatment. I am not sure if it a good one or not, so I pass it along for your evaluation. It is similar to others I have seen allowing for a bit more food.
http://www.kitchendoctor.com/healthconditions/gallstones/gallbladder.html
Boundless Healing & Love,
z
Dear Zennie, thank you so much for thinking of me and taking the time to write out the stories of what your friends and family have tried for their gall stones.
My problem isn’t gall stones; rather, it’s an inability to digest oil and fats. I tried the gallstone flush treatment before knowing that and actually almost sent my body in toxic shock because it involved drinking a LOT of oil mixed with other concoctions. That flush has helped lots of other people, including my father, but it isn’t for this kind of condition. I wished it would help, but after doing the flush there really weren’t even any gallstones in there.
I love it that people like your friend Cherokee work with both native remedies and western medicine. Wish more people combined the two approaches.
Thanks for your wishes for boundless healing and love! You are so thoughtful, Zennie. Love, Kathy
Do you drink a fair amount of water?
much love and healing comfort to you Kathy.
love and blessings,
samme
Samme….well, I’m drinking water right now! Actually, I drink a lot of tea. Thank you so much for the love & healing comfort. It means a lot. Today I am fasting all day. have been feeling much better (no gall bladder pain at all for awhile) but wanting to do a cleanse. Will be drinking water & medicinal teas all day.